A latte for Fritz
by Ertal77
Summary: Noiz is fourteen, and as he tries to acclimatize to living in Midorijima, he meets a cute but big-mouthed barista at a nice coffee shop. Sort of coffee shop AU, where Noiz and Aoba meet five years before the DmmD events.
1. Chapter 1

Noiz felt exhilarated and free, perhaps for the first time in his life. He was walking down unknown streets, checking the street map on his coil for directions when he started to feel disoriented, but all in all he also enjoyed the sensation of feeling a bit lost in that new town. He had arrived to Midorijima, a small island in Japan, just a week ago, and those last days had been spent basically in doing all the paperwork for the new apartment and the new school with his mother and his younger brother, Theo. Their father had started to work the next day of their arrival, eager to impress his new Japanese partners. He had a contract for a joint venture with Toue Inc., so the whole family had moved from Germany to Japan and would stay there for a year.

Besides, the change in scenery had supposed a second chance for Noiz. He was allowed to attend school again, as every other normal fourteen year old boy. His days of private tuition were over. He could talk to other people, he could walk the streets alone, he could even go to the beach and let the waves tickle his bare ankles. He was free, as he had never been before.

And the only think he had to do in exchange was passing all his subjects at the new school and behave. No more fights. No more hurting himself. Noiz smirked. Well, he could try. Now that he knew what he had been missing, he would definitely try. He had been studying Japanese with a tutor for six months before coming, and he was surprisingly good at it. The tutor said he was a natural for languages, marvelled. And, in fact, he felt a little proud of himself when the previous week he had acted as a translator for his mother and brother in all their transactions. _Yes, life is great_, he thought, smiling at his coil.

He was taking a stroll around the neighbourhood. Theo had come back right home from school, but he wanted to explore on his own. He was fourteen, after all. And he had his own pocket money; he could buy a new game for his coil, or have a coke at a café if he wanted. Almost an adult!

The idea of having a drink settled on his mind when he saw a nice coffee shop in the next corner. Right, adults had coffee, so he could, too. He pushed the wooden door of the shop, feeling grown up and self-confident.

The coffee shop was nice also in the inside, with all the decoration in pastel colours, with a cheerful ambient music and quite crowded, mostly with teens a bit older than Noiz. _This place is perfect_, he thought, and approached the ordering queue. There were only two people ahead of him, so he studied the coffee menu while he waited for his turn. The first customer moved away with his drink, and Noiz stepped forward; only one person more to go, and he still hadn't decided on his coffee… But then his eyes got caught by the pretty golden ones of the barista, and suddenly breathing was a difficult task for Noiz. The rest of the girl's face was lovely as well, soft, pale and perfect skin, with her hair dyed in a bright blue and pulled back in a long braid, with bangs falling over her eyes and cheeks. Noiz stared at her with his mouth slightly open. She must have been sixteen or seventeen, and she was definitely the prettiest girl Noiz had ever seen. When she finished with the customer, her eyes pierced Noiz with a slight scowl. He tried to shake his reverie and approached the counter, feeling his cheeks warm. But he didn't stop staring at her. He wanted to imprint all her features into his memory.

The girl stared back, obviously annoyed, but instead of saying something, she just grabbed her braid and started playing with it, as a nervous quirk. Noiz watched her hands then, and felt something was out of place.

"Well?" she said at last, with a voice way, way deeper than Noiz expected. "Have you made a choice already? I don't have all day, you know."

Noiz was too shocked to speak. _A guy. She is a guy. No way_. He would need time to process that, in all honesty. The… boy started to look really annoyed then, and clarified:

"Yes, cutie, I'm a guy, sorry to disappoint you." And he looked Noiz over and a slow mischievous smirk appeared on his face. "Well, perhaps you are not so disappointed, after all, are you, kid?"

"Oi!" A potbellied man stuck his head out the kitchen's door. "Aoba, stop flirting with the customers! It's the last warning, boy! Be kind, smile, and act like a professional barista!"

The blue haired teenager grunted, showing his teeth, but then faked a smile that didn't reach his eyes and turned to Noiz again.

"Has my dear customer made a pick, or do you want me to suggest one of our specialties?" he said.

"…A small latte", Noiz mumbled.

The barista opened his eyes wide, surprised. Noiz decided his eyes were too beautiful for a guy, especially for such a rude guy like him.

"…So the cute kid is foreign? I could tell, by those green eyes. Where are you from?"

"Germany."

"Aoba!" the shop manager growled again.

"Yes, yes…" Aoba hurried to make his coffee and came back quickly to charge Noiz for his drink. Noiz paid, took his cardboard mug and, when he was about to turn to leave the counter, the barista waved and winked at him. "See you, Fritz."

"My name is not Fritz, is…"

But Aoba was listening to the next customer and ignored him.

* * *

The next day Noiz came back to the coffee shop right after school. He told himself he really liked the place, and that he wanted to taste all the different kinds of coffee they offered. He didn't want to think that, in fact, he was curious about the rude barista who looked like a pretty girl and that, perhaps, most definitely, he just wanted to see him again.

The place was emptier at that hour, and Aoba smiled brightly at him.

"Ah, look who's back! It's the Fritz kid!"

"My name is not Fritz", Noiz said, frowning. "That's rather rude, you know."

"As if I had the time to remember the names of all our customers…" the bartender shrugged. "What would you have today?"

"Ah… A cappuccino."

"OK!"

And in a minute there was a really creamy cappuccino in front of Noiz. He sat with his coffee and took out one of his classroom books to read meanwhile. He glanced sideways at Aoba, who was cleaning the counter and changing a bin. Male or not, Noiz couldn't deny the bartender was cute. He tasted his hot cappuccino at last, and the first sip almost made him spit. The taste of the cream inside his mouth was awful. He stood up and walked towards the counter again with his cardboard mug in hand. Aoba frowned at seeing him.

"What's wrong with your cappuccino?"

"I don't like it."

"Is the milk sour? It can't be that."

"No. It's the texture what I don't like. The cream is disgusting."

Aoba raised an eyebrow.

"It's the first time ever I hear such nonsense… Is this your first cappuccino? Because I assure you this is how it's done." He leaned forward across the counter and hissed in Noiz' direction. "Are you going to complain to the manager? Don't get me into trouble, Fritz kid, or I swear you will pay for it."

"No. I just want another drink. A small latte, same as yesterday. That was good."

Aoba grunted and retired to the coffee machine to brew a latte. When Noiz was taking out his wallet, the barista placed the new cardboard mug in front of him but raised a hand to stop him.

"No, this one is on the house. Just don't complain. The manager is already rather pissy at me."

Noiz didn't answer. As there wasn't any queue, he added sugar to his coffee and started to drink it right there, standing at the counter. Aoba didn't have anything else to do, either, so he watched the German boy with amusement.

"What's with you, and that serious air you always have? You seem so bored."

Noiz shrugged. His tutor at the school had commented also on his seemingly expressionless face. It was a bit annoying; they said it as if it was his fault.

"It's just my face. Any problem with it?"

"Nah, just commenting. It's just that you look so young, with your school uniform, but you come here on your own, and look all solemn…"

Noiz didn't want to comment on that. Instead, he asked:

"What school do you go to?"

The barista automatically started to wipe again an already clean surface near the coffee machine, turning his back on Noiz.

"None. I work here."

"I thought you only worked here part-time… So you dropped out?"

"That's none of your business, Fritz kid."

Noiz stared at the blue braid on the boy's back, feeling impressed. His father had insisted so much all of his life about how important the studies were, that he didn't thought anybody abandoned their studies before university. But it seemed that it did happen.

"My parents would kill me if I drop out of school", he commented. "What do your parents say?"

Aoba kept getting his back to him, and when he talked, his voice was sour.

"Why don't you take your coffee to the table and leave me the fuck alone? I have work to do."

Noiz blinked, and did what he was told. Aoba turned at last and muttered, with downcast eyes:

"You could apologise, Fritz kid."

"What for?" Noiz muttered back, annoyed.

And he heard a loud grunt as only answer.

* * *

But he kept going to the coffee shop every day. He soon learned that if he came there right after school the place was almost empty, but just half an hour later the high schoolers started to arrive and crowded the place, and Noiz would be surrounded by sixteen to eighteen year old teenagers, cheerful and noisy. He somehow preferred to have the place to himself. He could order his small latte without having to queue, he could talk a bit with Aoba, and then he was able to sit on his favourite table without finding it already taken. So he started the habit of doing exactly that, and every day he enjoyed his hot coffee while checking some of the day's school work and stealing glances at Aoba. When the loud customers started to arrive, he would go home. It was his peaceful time, a time for himself that helped him to cope with the social stress he endured at school, and the awkwardness he still had to face at home. Only his brother alleviated the stern faces and silence that greeted him when he arrived home, but Theo had club activities every day and, besides, Japanese one-to-one lessons every evening. He looked fine, though, the few occasions Noiz met him (basically during breakfast and dinner), and their mother had started to nudge Noiz to join some club activities too, or at least to do something with his spare time. At that, Noiz usually apologised and took his leave, closing his bedroom door behind him and not leaving until the next lunch time or the next morning.

He had started to think that, in fact, Aoba's choice wasn't that bad. He commented on it one day, and the barista didn't turn moody that time.

"Of course!" he said instead with a wide grin. "Earning your own money is great. I bet you still have to ask your mum for pocket money…"

Noiz indeed had to. He thought he could find other ways to earn money that didn't imply having to cope with a boring manager on a daily basis, though, but he didn't say it aloud. It had taken him time, but at last he had noticed that Aoba got offended easily, although being so rude himself. And he liked the older boy better when he was in a good mood.

Although he wasn't in high spirits when his manager was around. From what Noiz had observed, Aoba worked fast and quite efficiently, but he was also rather clumsy and broke or drop things almost daily. And then there was his big mouth with the customers. The manager also scolded him about punctuality and the state in which he came to work; he accused Aoba of coming with a hangover or without having slept the previous night more than once. It wasn't that the manager shouted at him, but Noiz had good ear and he couldn't help to eavesdrop.

"The milk is about to tumble", he warned, instead, trying to be helpful.

"Fuck!" Aoba ran to fix the milk cartons. "Thanks, Fritz kid."

Noiz sighed.

"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

The older boy chuckled. Noiz thought the whole room lighted up when Aoba laughed other than his usual smirk. He should do that more often. Sadly, the boy usual state was the one his boss complained about (eye bags, tired look, moody and all that jazz), so it didn't happen much.

"It depends. What's your name, Fritz kid?"

Noiz frowned. If he told him his real name, Wilhelm, Aoba surely would have a laugh at his expense. So he opted by telling him the name only Theo called him. 'Noiz' was their secret name, and it was because the only person he loved called him that way that Noiz had started to think of himself with that name, instead of the 'Wilhelm' or 'Wim' he was usually called.

"Noiz."

"Noiz?" Aoba asked, confused, and the way he pronounced it, adding an 'u' at the end, was wrong but surely the most adorable thing Noiz had ever heard. "Is that your name?"

Noiz nodded, chuckling. Aoba looked suspicious.

"Why are you laughing? Are you taking the piss out of me?"

"No, of course no. Why would I?"

It was Aoba's turn to laugh, a clear and genuine laugh that sounded as a wind chime to Noiz' ears.

"Always the bored and stern face!" Aoba exclaimed, still smiling. "How can you do that? You look so cute with your uniform and those green eyes, but then you ruin it with that serious look. I can't get you, honestly!"

Noiz was surprised. He couldn't do anything about his expression, and didn't know what to answer. But then the usual string of customers started to appear, and Aoba left him to attend the forming queue.

* * *

The next day, when he stepped in the coffee shop, it was the sour faced manager who attended him.

"Where is Aoba?" he asked after ordering his usual latte.

"That's what I would like to know", the manager grunted. "He hasn't showed up today, and hasn't had the decency to at least phone. So if you see him, you can tell him that he's fired!"

Noiz stayed there, standing with his cardboard mug and his schoolbag for a while, unable to move, watching as the manager went out to the front door to hang a 'help wanted' poster.

He wasn't going to see Aoba any more. He tried to let the concept sink in, but he didn't succeed. At last, he drank his coffee right there, without sitting at a table, and left as soon as he could.

He came back the next day, and the next, and all the next week, but Aoba didn't come back. When he mustered enough courage to ask the manager again about him, the man told him Aoba had called later that day, and that he had been obviously too drunk to come to work, so he was definitely fired. A new barista was soon hired, and Noiz stopped going to the coffee shop.

Midorijima wasn't that big, he considered at last. He would meet Aoba again, he was sure. Perhaps he would meet him in a week, roaming about the mall or the arcades.

In fact, he wouldn't meet him again until six months later, and it happened in the last place he would ever think of finding him: a Rhyme playground.


	2. Chapter 2

A lot of things can happen in six months, and Noiz' last ones had been packed to the brim. Two weeks after Aoba' disappearance, he had heard of a fighting virtual game from a school mate. It seemed the game had started in the island a couple of years before, but it had become so popular that a company had started to regulate the matches, adding rules and a virtual referee. Noiz found it greatly interesting and decided to do his research. He found a way of sneaking out of the apartment without being seen, and the rest was easy: learning about the area where the game was usually played, watching a couple of matches, and then finally trying his hand at Rhyme.

Rhyme was exactly what Noiz had been craving for his entire life, he knew from the start. The sensations during the game were so vivid that Noiz found himself, for the first time in his life, _feeling_ through his five senses. His lack of tactility seemed to disappear during the game. He experienced pain, at last, a deep and raging pain, but afterwards, when the match finished, no injuries would be left in his body. Noiz was marvelled; he still couldn't believe something as good existed.

Rhyme became his new obsession. He started to sneak out every night to find out where the next game would be. But the rhymers, in fact, used the game as an excuse for an alternative way of life, and soon Noiz saw that, if he wanted to embrace Rhyme as his own way of life, then he would need to blend, as being good in the game was not enough. He started to dress like that people, and he had piercings done. The piercing thing was quite addictive for him, he discovered, and in the end he had them in every part of his body that could be hidden at home and at school. Many things more were usual in that night world of the rhymers, and Noiz tried all of them. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex.

Alcohol was alright at first, but at some point his mind got lulled and his senses muffled: it was the opposite effect of what he was looking for. So he usually had a beer or a whisky shot and stopped there.

Drugs. Noiz soon divided them into two types. The opiate derivates and weed had the same effect on him than alcohol: he crossed them off the list. Amphetamines and their chemical derivates were better, in Noiz' opinion: they sharpened his senses and his mind raced. But he soon realised that, although they didn't seem to have any secondary effect on him, he soon began to crave them also during day, to help him alleviate the endless school hours. He knew perfectly well that, as soon as his night life started to affect his days, he would be thoroughly fucked. He had to maintain a façade as a model student, keep his good grades and appear as "normal" at home, or his parents would find out everything he did at night and then Rhyme would become a distant dream when he would be locked in his room again. So he decided drugs would be had only when they were unavoidable in order to blend with his fellow rhymers.

And about sex… Well. After all the noise, he didn't find it that special. It was something mechanical, monotonous and, unless he was really turned on, it was only a useful outlet for stress and frustration. He blamed it on his dulled tactility, but he didn't see that the people around him took sex any differently from him.

The other thing he liked about Rhyme was that he had found a potential source of income. Now that Rhyme was regulated, the players had to wait until the virtual referee, Usui, appeared and opened a Rhyme field. But nobody knew where exactly would Usui appear, so many players lost their chance of playing if they couldn't find it in time… and that was where Noiz entered. He had always been really good at computers, and after some hit and miss tries, he finally got to open a back door at Usui's system, so now knowing where the next Rhyme match would be was a child's play. At first he used this for his own convenience, for him to be able to play every night; he, and the team he started, who soon became one of the biggest and better known: _Ruff Rabbit_. But in a while he realised knowledge was money, and that people was prone to pay a lot for a bit of beforehand information.

So life was… not good, but not bad either. A bit empty, a bit bitter. He had freedom. He didn't have friends, but he had lots of acquaintances in the island by now, so when the loneliness bit hard he always had people he could text. And there was always the next Rhyme match to look forward to.

And then he finally met Aoba again.

"…Look what the cat brought! Isn't that the Fritz kid?"

It was not the best of greetings, but Noiz didn't expect anything different. What he didn't expect, either, was the state in which he found Aoba. He was a total wreck: his eye bags were deep and way bigger than before, his clothes were dirty and too big, giving him a gaunt look, his long blue hair was pulled in a loose pony tail, with more locks on his face than in the actual tail, and his eyes had a slight manic glint. All in all, after a long stare evaluating his greatly missed crush, Noiz decided Aoba was still cute, in his own way, but drugs and alcohol were taking their toll on the boy.

He approached him all the same.

"Tsch. I told you not to call me that. But, of course, you are too busy to remember my name…"

He stopped by Aoba's side, greeting the rest of his group with a simple nod. Aoba grinned.

"Noiz. I remember. How could I forget such a ridiculous name?"

His voice slurred, and his left hand moved spasmodically. Noiz would bet that month's earnings that Aoba was high. His concern was confirmed right when the blue haired boy came closer to him and rested his face on his shoulder, smirking.

"The good part of finding you here is that I can finally make a move on you…" he whispered, in a voice that Noiz would certainly find seductive in other circumstances. "Are you busy tonight?"

Noiz pushed him away. Aoba's grin fell, and a tiny spot of sobriety popped its head out on his features.

"Oh. You are too young for that, I should have guessed…"

"It's not that".

Aoba pursed his lips until they were just a white tight line.

"…I thought you liked me", he muttered at last, turning around.

"I like you better when you are not high."

But of course Aoba was already talking to other people and ignoring him. Noiz sighed and went to watch the game.

The two of them stayed near the Rhyme field for hours, though, and Noiz couldn't help to glance at Aoba now and then. He didn't seem to be in any team, and just wandered around the groups, but everybody seemed to know him. Neither of them played that night: Noiz was too busy collecting his money from his patrons and cheering his team, and Aoba was definitely too high and had other things in mind. A little alarm rang off on Noiz' mind when he caught a glimpse of blue hair disappearing into a dark side alley with two men. After a short hesitation, he decided to follow them. Fortunately, they didn't go far, and stayed inside the part of the alleys where rhymers came and went. Still, one of them had an arm casually thrown around Aoba's shoulders, and the other one touched his waist with too much familiarity for Noiz' taste. Especially because Aoba soon started to shook those hands off him and, while still grinning and looking friendly, it was obvious he wanted his personal space back. The two guys (tall, blonde and with a very similar look) smiled back at him and didn't seem offended at all. Good.

The next time Noiz let his gaze wander, he wasn't searching for a certain blue haired guy, but certainly started to worry when he didn't see Aoba at first. People had started to scatter, but he would have noticed if Aoba had gone home… And then, at last, he found him. Aoba was sitting down on the floor, leaning back against a wall, with his eyes shut. Noiz walked towards him, waving goodbye his acquaintances.

"Hey", he called in Aoba's direction. "Are you sleeping?"

He crouched down beside the slumbered boy. Some of his blue bangs were plastered to his face because of the sweat. Noiz looked around, but he couldn't see any of the mates with whom he had previously seen Aoba. _He is alone, then_, he thought.

"Hey", he repeated. "Go home, you shouldn't sleep here, in the street."

At the lack of response, Noiz sighed and pulled Aoba on his feet, passing one of the lax arms around his own shoulders and starting to drag him. The young man seemed to react at last, feeling the movement.

"What the… Fritz Kid, what the hell are you doing?"

"Taking you home, obviously. Tell me your address."

Aoba said nothing. Noiz shot him a questioning look, half dressed in annoyance.

"I… I can't… can't go home like this", Aoba stuttered, his eyelids and head already falling down.

Noiz groaned, and kept walking, dragging Aoba along.

Ten long and painful minutes later, Noiz was at last setting a half asleep, half unconscious Aoba on Theo's bed. He took his trainers and his hoodie off and tucked him in. The young man chose precisely that moment to stir up and open his eyes. They were clouded, but that golden glint that Noiz remembered was still there, hidden behind layers of drugs and general stupidity. Aoba stared at him, serious.

"Noiz?"

"Shhh… Just sleep. We are at my place."

"…Your parents?"

"Back in Germany."

"Oh. How convenient". And he closed his eyes again, seemingly relaxed. Noiz turned around to go to his own bedroom, when Aoba's tiny voice made him stop at the door. "Noiz… Do you still like me?"

"Lots."

And he hurried to close the door behind him, feeling a strange knot inside his guts.


	3. Chapter 3

Come morning, Noiz woke up and started his daily routines, trying not to be too noisy for Aoba's sake. In fact, he didn't need to care, because his guest didn't rouse until two hours later. The boy appeared at the sitting room door frame, yawning and looking around with curiosity.

"Morning, Fritz kid… Mind if I use your shower? I feel rather filthy."

Noiz nodded, raising his eyes from his computer screen. He stared at the boy for a moment and then pointed at the bathroom door with his head. Aoba went out said door ten minutes later and, to Noiz' surprise, he was wearing only a towel low around his waist and nothing more. At noticing Noiz' eyes on him, Aoba grinned and cocked his hips, showing off his almost naked body.

"Seeing something you like?" he asked with a mischievous smile.

Noiz turned his glance again to his screen.

"Too scrawny", he answered.

Aoba's grin fell, and he suddenly blushed and looked as if he wanted to cover himself with his arms, all his confidence shattered. Noiz sighed and stood up.

"Hold on, I'll lend you some clean clothes. Help yourself to some breakfast."

He came back in a moment with a long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. Aoba was studying the contents of his fridge, frowning.

"Ah, thank you. Hey, I see you don't have coffee, or tea… What do you usually have for breakfast?"

The boy put on the clothes quickly, not bothering in asking for underwear, apparently relieved of being dressed again. His long hair soon wetted all the back of his shirt, but he didn't complain. Noiz took two cereal boxes from the cupboard and placed them in the kitchen table, in front of Aoba.

"There's milk and juice in the fridge."

"Yes, I have seen as much…"

"Bowls and glasses are there, and spoons are in that drawer."

Following the indications with a sigh, Aoba served himself a bowl of cereals with milk and a glass of orange juice.

"…So you have the same for breakfast everyday?" Aoba asked between mouthfuls, breaking the silence.

Noiz felt a bit puzzled. Wasn't that normal?

"Of course. Cereals, milk and fruit juice is a balanced meal."

Aoba smirked.

"I forgot you were German. But are you aware of the fact that your fridge only has milk and juice in it?"

"What else should there be?" Noiz asked, frowning.

Aoba seemed to consider the question.

"Oh, I don't know… Eggs? Meat? Fish? _Food_, in general?"

Noiz blinked.

"But there's food in my fridge."

"A half-eaten delivery pizza is not what my granny would call food", Aoba chuckled. He kept eating his cereals in silence for a while. Noiz pretended to be busy with his computer, but glanced sideways at him now and then. When Aoba had finished his bowl, he stood up and put the empty bowl and glass in the sink.

"Leave it there, I'll put it inside the dishwasher later."

"Oh, you even have a dishwasher?" Aoba seemed slightly impressed. "This apartment looks nothing like my family house. I didn't know there were buildings so modern in Midorijima. By the way, when are your parents coming back?"

Noiz tensed a bit, although he knew his face would betray nothing, as always.

"They are not coming back. They have moved back to Germany."

Aoba opened his eyes wide in surprise.

"Really? They have left a relative with you?"

"No, I'm on my own."

"But that's…" Aoba shook his head, still in disbelief. "How old are you again?"

Noiz was starting to regret telling Aoba his situation. All of that conversation was annoying.

"I'm already fifteen, and I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Now, if you have finished, I have work to do, you know."

Aoba took the hint and went back to the bathroom and Theo's bedroom to retrieve his dirty clothes and his bag with his allmate inside. Noiz didn't make a move to show him the exit door, his eyes all the time glued to the screen, although he wasn't able to see a word of the text he was reading, aware of every little movement of his guest in the apartment. At last Aoba waved him goodbye from the entrance door.

"Thank you for having me. Aaah… I'll give you back your clothes one of these days." Noiz simply nodded, his face expressionless. "See you, I guess."

And then he left. As soon as Noiz was alone, he sighed loudly and rubbed his temples.

Getting to stay on his own in the island hadn't been easy. A couple of months earlier, his father told them that his business with Toue Inc. had turned out a total success, and that, as all their goals had been already reached, there was no need to prolong their stay in Midorijima: they were coming back to Germany as soon as the school year finished. Theo and his mother had been ecstatic at the news, but Noiz wasn't so happy. It took him a whole month to convince his parents of his staying there: he had top grades in almost all his subjects, got out of his way tidying and helping his mother with the house chores, and assured his father that he had already found a summer job. The man acquiesced at last, enrolling him in his school for another year. He was paying for the rent of their apartment, but as he had promised to work part-time, his assignment was cut off to almost nothing. But Noiz didn't mind; he was making quite a lot of money thanks to Rhyme, and the least he depended on his parents, the better for him.

The only perks had been the loneliness of that last month of school holidays: he hadn't been able to even Skype with Theo, as his brother was at a summer camp in the United States. But the school started again in ten days, so Noiz was looking forward to it, although it supposed taking out some of his piercings and having to act the "good student" for five hours a day.

The next evening there wasn't any Rhyme match, so Ruff Rabbit's members met, had a beer, and after an hour of hanging out Noiz decided to leave early. There had been a girl stuck to him the whole time, and when he said his goodbyes she just tagged along. She said she was sixteen, but Noiz doubted she was actually older than him. Not that he cared: she was pretty, smelled sweetly and held his hand after a minute of hesitance. By the time they arrived Noiz' apartment, she was already leaning on his shoulder, her arm hooked on his, and they kissed every few steps. But then Noiz glimpsed a figure squatted on his threshold: a hooded guy, half asleep (or perhaps more than half, there wasn't enough light to tell for sure), with long blue locks escaping from the black fabric.

"I'm sorry, but you have to go", he said to his companion.

"Is that a friend of yours?" she asked. "He can sleep on the couch, or in a guest bedroom… I don't think he will bother us."

And she tried to hook both her arms around Noiz' neck. He took her wrists and put some distance between them, frowning.

"No, you ought to go home. Sorry, but you can't stay."

The girl looked really upset. At first she tried to smile weakly and said.

"OK, perhaps another night".

But when she turned to go Noiz heard her swearing under her breath. He shrugged and didn't pay her more attention. He crouched besides the slumbering boy, who opened an eye and gave him a sleepy smirk.

"I didn't want to ruin your pickup…" Aoba whispered. "You didn't need to tell her to not stay."

Noiz sighed and stood up.

"That's none of your business. Come on, don't sleep here or the neighbours will complain to my parents. Up you go."

He helped Aoba up and opened the entrance door. Aoba followed him, staggering, obviously still half asleep.

"Don't you mind if I sleep here?"

"I have let you enter, haven't I? I regret to say I don't have anything edible, but you can sleep in my brother's bedroom, same as last night. Just…"

Aoba stopped at Theo's door, eyelids half closed already.

"What?"

"Don't make it a habit, alright?"

"'right, don't be so pissy."

And he closed the door after him with a wink.

The next morning, when Noiz decided to wake Aoba up, he found out the boy was already gone. _Well, that's for the best_, he thought, although he couldn't help to feel slightly disappointed.

During the next nights he had the chance of watching Aoba playing Rhyme, at last. He was curious. The fact Aoba wasn't in any team could mean he was terrible at the game. But then everybody seemed to know him, so in the end Noiz didn't know what to make of it. When he finally watched him playing, though, everything made sense. Because his style of playing was a display of Aoba's character: independent, strong, show-off, even cruel… and then a touch of vulnerability, quickly covered up again in mockery and useless threats. Who would have thought of it, with him using such an old fashioned allmate… It was a fascinating show, and Noiz' whole body tingled in excitement. He wanted, no, he _needed _to fight against Aoba in Rhyme. However, when he commented it to his mates, all he got were some odd glances.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked them.

"I don't think it's a good idea, man…" one of them said.

"Why? He's pretty good."

"He's… too aggressive."

"Haven't you wondered why he isn't in any team?" another one added. Noiz nodded eagerly. "He is a troublemaker and a rowdy guy. He always wins, but he would bring a bad name to any team who would have him."

"Oh, I see."

Not that Noiz cared about that. He approached Aoba with confidence. After all, the young man owed him.

"What? You want to play with me? Forget it!"

Unexpectedly, that was the answer he got. Noiz was taken aback.

"Do you think I'm not good enough for you?" he asked, upset.

"I have seen you fighting a couple of times", Aoba said. "You are not bad, but that's not it."

And he turned his back to Noiz. Unrelenting, Noiz put a hand on Aoba's shoulder and insisted:

"I think you owe me, after all, don't you think? I'm only asking for a match, Aoba."

The young man frowned.

"I'm Sly Blue here, Fritz kid. And precisely because I owe you is why I don't want to fight you in Rhyme."

And he turned again and left Noiz standing there, grasping the empty air. It was frustrating.

Some days later, he started school again and Rhyme passed to a second place of importance on Noiz' mind. He had to organize his subjects, his time and his life to make place to everything that was important to him. He couldn't afford missing lessons or failing in his grades, and he had to keep a façade of a "normal" teenager, so none of his teachers suspected anything about his double life and decided to contact his parents. And, at the same time, he had to make sure his money kept flowing from the matches' predictions and also from betting. Thank god he had allowed someone else to be the leader of Ruff Rabbit, or he would go mad with so much stress.

So the last thing he was expecting that first week of school was his doorbell ringing at three in the morning. Insistent. Loud. Cursing, he got up his bed, deciding to open the door and punch in the face whoever was trying to rouse the whole building. However, he froze in the spot when he found Aoba standing at his door. He half expected it could be him, but after almost two weeks he thought it would most surely be one of his Ruff Rabbit mates, or perhaps a girl.

"Well? Are you letting me in or not?"

Surprisingly, Aoba was sober, even at that time of the night. He looked upset and gloomy, though. Noiz stepped aside to let him pass. Aoba immediately flopped on the couch, sighing.

"Do you have something to drink, Fritz kid?"

Noiz frowned and started to feel a bit fed up.

"If you were looking for a bar, I think you have mistaken the place…" he said with his default calm and monotonous voice… what was good, because he didn't want to raise his voice. "I have to wake up for school at seven o'clock, so I was sleeping soundly until you woke me up."

Aoba glared at him, his golden expressive eyes giving away only fatigue.

"…Got it. Can I sleep here, at least? I had an argument with my granny and I had to go away."

"Sure. You know the bedroom, right?"

And Noiz headed for his own room. A part of him wanted to question Aoba and know what the argument had been about, but the main part of him was simply too tired. And there was another tiny bit of him who felt… what was it? Resentment? He couldn't understand it. _Definitely, sentiments are not my area_, he thought_. Nor that I understand anything about my relationship with Aoba, anyway. We are not friends, are we?_

Back in his bed, sleep eluded him, and he started to turn to one side and then to the other, restless. How annoying. Damned Aoba, thanks to him he would be a zombie the next morning.

A soft knock in the door surprised him, followed by his door opening slightly and the blue haired boy peering.

"Are you still awake?" the soft voice asked. Noiz didn't answer, because he had his eyes open, so it was quite obvious. "Mind if I come in?"

Aoba entered before Noiz could answer. He sat on his bed. The boy couldn't see Aoba's eyes in the almost complete darkness, just his silhouette, and the telling weight on the bed. Feeling awkward, he started:

"Look, I've told you, I have to get up early in the morning, so I don't have the time for…"

"Can I sleep here?" Aoba cut him. "I can't get to sleep."

Noiz hesitated for a second.

"…Just sleep, OK?" he finally mumbled, moving aside to make place for Aoba.

He felt him lifting the duvet and slipping inside the bed, a warm presence suddenly pressed against his side. Noiz felt an arm slithering around his torso, and Aoba's head making itself comfortable on his shoulder, and although he had to smother down his long hair to avoid it to tickle his nose, he couldn't stop the sudden race of his heartbeats. He finally moved and passed an arm around Aoba's shoulder, holding him by the waist with his other arm, and the young man repositioned himself until both of them were comfortable and any knee or elbow or chin was digging into the other guy. Noiz still felt awkward, although he couldn't deny Aoba's weight on top of him was highly comforting.

"Don't you feel alone, all by yourself in this apartment?" Aoba whispered after a long silence.

"Sometimes. But I prefer it when my parents are in Germany, to be honest. We don't get along that well."

Noiz realised it was the first time he talked about his parents since… ever. He hadn't said anything about his situation to any of his school mates or his Rhyme friends.

"What about your parents?" he asked after a while. "Do you live alone with your granny?"

"Hmmm", was the half asleep answer. "They left some years ago. I wished I know where they are now."

And even in that sleepy haze, Noiz could tell the sadness in Aoba's voice. _We are two abandoned kids. What a wreck._

"Perhaps they are in Germany", he said at last.

Aoba let go a chuckle, and Noiz smiled and held him closer.

"Good night, Aoba", he whispered softly.

"'Night."

Aoba lift his face a bit and kissed him blindly on the cheek, his lips landing more on Noiz' chin. Surprised by the sudden heat that shrouded his whole body, Noiz only dared to raise his hand and caress the tender and warm skin of Aoba's face before the other boy's breathing told him Aoba was asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Noiz was grooming himself after a shower, happy to get rid of his school uniform after a long and particularly stressing day, when the doorbell rang. He was expecting a couple of mates to come over to fetch him, but it was still a tad early for that. He smiled at his reflection on the mirror when he thought about another possibility, and then he rushed to open the door.

His heart started pumping wildly when he saw Aoba at his threshold, all clean and well dressed and neatly combed, reaching him out a bag that obviously contained food, with a wide smile.

"What's that?" he asked, taking the plastic bag. A delicious smell came from it, and it was still warm.

"I asked my granny to show you what real food is", Aoba answered, still smiling, while he let himself in.

"So you came to terms with her?"

Noiz closed the door after Aoba, choosing not to tell him that, in fact, he was supposed to go out for dinner with his friends. It seemed that a coil text was in order to tell them about the change of plans.

"Yes, our arguments never last too much... luckily for me. Where are the plates, again?"

They set the table in a moment. The meal Aoba had brought was varied and huge, and consisted in rice, meat and vegetables, accompanied with handmade buns and something sweet for dessert. Noiz wasn't able to identify any of the different dishes, and even some of the vegetables were completely foreign to him. Aoba, obviously in an excellent mood for once, was surprised about that and laughed a bit at him, but then he explained Noiz the names and ingredients of every dish. Noiz tasted a bit of each one, and he had to admit that all of them were as delicious as their smell.

"If your granny is such a good cook, how is it that you are so skinny?" he asked between mouthfuls.

Aoba frowned slightly at this.

"I'm not usually at home at meals time. More often than not, I'm not in the mood of facing my granny's stern look."

"She judges you", Noiz provided, thinking of his own family.

"No, it's not that, she usually says nothing about what a disaster I am... but I know she is thinking about it all the same. And last night she scolded me because I lost my job once again."

Aoba sighed and told Noiz a couple of anecdotes about his last couple of jobs... although he refused to tell the exact circumstances of his being fired that last time at a record shop. It should have been something really embarrassing, because he just blushed and changed topics. Aoba was quite talkative, as Noiz remembered from the coffee shop, and he enjoyed listening to him. He asked Noiz about the school, but Noiz found that topic boring and tried to change it to Rhyme when he had the chance.

"Why don't you want to play Rhyme with me?" he asked at last.

They had finished having dinner a long while ago, the remains already in the fridge and the dirty plates and cutlery inside the dishwasher. They were sitting on the couch, finishing their beers, feeling relaxed and lazy. Aoba glanced down at the floor at Noiz' question.

"Well... I don't want to hurt you. And accidents happen sometimes in Rhyme."

Noiz scowled.

"Injures in Rhyme are only virtual, Aoba..."

"Not always."

Noiz had no idea of what Aoba was talking about, and he was going to insist, because the thought of fighting the young man in Rhyme was deeply installed on his mind and didn't seem prone to vanish, but suddenly a hand on his thigh and a pair of beautiful eyes fixed on his made him change his mind. Aoba didn't say anything, but his face was serious and kept staring at him.

"Well?" he said at last, and Noiz would have sworn the boy was nervous.

"Well?" Noiz repeated, unsure of what he was supposed to say.

Aoba looked away. Noiz had always been rather clumsy at reading other people's faces, but Aoba was like an open book, his emotions always clearly painted on his face, and right then he looked uncertain, in what Noiz thought was a really endearing way.

"Say something", Aoba said then. "I can never get you, so you better say clearly what's on your mind."

Noiz wasn't good with words, but he knew what he wanted. He left his beer on the side table with a lopsided grin and leaned onwards to kiss Aoba. When their lips met, he could hear clearly the other boy's heartbeats, pumping as loudly and fast as his own. After a soft, almost chaste kiss, Noiz pulled away and watched the soft features in front of him, caressing a pink lower lip with his thumb, marvelling at how Aoba's eyes seemed brighter than ever. Suddenly he had two arms thrown around his neck, and Aoba was kissing him back with all his might, all tongue and teeth and saliva, but also warmth and breathing and half formed endearing words, that turned Noiz breathless and a bit overwhelmed, but also more happy than he could ever remember being.

Noiz lost the notion of time while they snogged each other, but after a long while the kisses tended to escalate and soon their hands were lost under the other's clothes, and Aoba started to moan hotly on his ear.

"Noiz!"

"Hmmm?"

Noiz felt a bit too gone for words at that moment.

"Can we… go to your room?"

Noiz smirked and stood up, holding Aoba's hand, and started to head for his bedroom, pulling Aoba with him. Once there, he immediately took his t-shirt off and drop it to the floor. Aoba stared at him with hunger and a lopsided grin. The boy kneeled on the bed, besides Noiz, and took his own shirt off, too. Their mouths met again, and their hands mapped all the skin they could reach, without the barrier of clothes. Aoba leaned down to lap at one of Noiz' nipples, and although the boy first hummed, he ended taking Aoba's face between his hands and lifting it again to his eyes' level.

"That's… a little useless, sorry. I should have warned you."

"Uh?"

Noiz sighed. This awkward moment was always easier with a girl, guys tended to feel offended.

"I don't have much sensitivity on my skin, so I can't feel anything when you stroke my body or lap my nipples."

"How come?" Aoba frowned.

"Google CIPA later… I can't do anything about it, sorry."

"So you can't feel anything?"

Noiz couldn't decide if Aoba seemed offended or sad. Both feelings would break the mood, and Noiz didn't want that; what he wanted was to sprawl Aoba on the bed and straddle him, and perhaps rub his prick against Aoba's until both of them came. But, instead, Aoba was the one who forced him down, grinning mischievously.

"Tell me, Noiz… are you sure you can't feel anything here?"

And then the boy pinched his nipple, hard. A small jolt of pain ran through Noiz' skin, and he felt his erection growing harder.

"Aah… My mouth… I can feel through my mouth…" he whispered.

Aoba complied, putting his tongue again in Noiz' eager mouth, while twisting his other nipple. Then he unfastened his trousers and slipped a hand inside, caressing Noiz' hardness.

"This doesn't seem insensitive to me, either…" Aoba mumbled, with half lidded eyes.

He moved downwards and made quick work of Noiz' trousers, leaving him completely naked in a snap, and started to stroke his erection with slow and practised movements. Noiz couldn't take his eyes of him. Especially when Aoba leaned down and licked a path up his cock, and then down again on the other side, and afterwards started playing with his tongue on the tip, twisting and lapping and pressing, and all the while with his hand pumping up and down his length, torturously slow. Aoba looked up at him, offered him a naughty grin, and then licked his own lips calmly, only to take the head of Noiz' erection in his mouth after a moment. Noiz had to fight the urge to close his eyes at the sudden pleasure, but he wanted to remember every little detail, every one of Aoba's facial expressions, every accidental touch of their bodies. Aoba closed his, though, and started to work Noiz with purpose, both with his mouth and his hand. Noiz caressed the loose strands of his long hair, trying to take it all in, until he couldn't help it any longer and came in Aoba's mouth. He panted, trying to regain his breath, and watched as Aoba licked his lips clean, so sexy and satisfied with himself. All in all, Noiz thought, it had been a good orgasm, but what made it special was Aoba, not his own body; Aoba, who was now looking at him like a hungry animal, and Noiz hadn't met anyone who made him feel that turned on just a minute after having come.

"What do you want to do now?" Aoba asked, leaning on him.

"Whatever you wish. Do you want me to pay you back?" Noiz smirked.

"I prefer another thing… Will it be troublesome to get it up again now?"

Noiz chuckled, giving himself a quick pump.

"It's usually troublesome to keep it down, rather. Let me lay on top of you."

"No, wait… Sit down there, against the headboard… Right there, yes."

Noiz complied and sat with his back leaned against the bed headboard. Aoba took off his trousers and his underwear and straddled him. Noiz had wanted to strip Aoba himself, but he didn't complain, as it was interesting as well watching the boy leading the pace. And at least he could touch him at his leisure, his lean torso as close they could rub their bare skins, and his long and delightful neck at the perfect spot for his mouth. He let his hands and his mouth wander around, enjoying of the little tactility he had, aided by the rest of his senses. Then Aoba leaned back and took something from his jeans' pocket. The dim light of the room didn't allow Noiz to see what it was, but the movements of opening a tube lid and then a hand reaching back gave Noiz a clear idea of what Aoba was doing. _That's hot_, he thought, his head spinning slightly.

"Let me help with that", he said in a hoarse voice.

Aoba chuckled.

"Nah… Just relax and get your dick ready for me…" he answered.

"Are you trying to impress me or something?" Noiz asked. "If you wanted to pull out the 'let's teach the kid about sex' thing, you are late."

"Hmmm, am I? Really?" But there was a smile hidden in Aoba's voice.

"You can bet. You should have made a move six months ago, at the coffee shop."

They both chuckled, but a part of Noiz felt bitter. He wasn't one for having regrets, but this time was going to be an exception, and he was fully aware of it. What was happening, until that moment, was making him feel more alive than any of the sensations those six months had provided. Even with the palpable chance of ending with a broken heart, he would trade willingly those six months for having started something with Aoba right then, at the beginning.

"Yeah, I should… You looked so cute in your school uniform… Perverting a middle school boy would have been a new mark in my tally…"

"Hey, I'm _still_ in middle school!"

Aoba groaned, and Noiz couldn't guess if it was because of the mental image or the effect of his fingers. He held him closer, searching for his mouth again. Aoba fidgeted a bit with the preservative, and when it was properly set, he placed his hands on top of Noiz' shoulders and leaned onwards; Noiz knew what was coming, but he still wasn't mentally ready for the heat and the pleasure engulfing his cock all of a sudden. Aoba let himself go down slowly until he was fully impaled, his breathing laboured. Noiz thrust up into him, impatient, but Aoba shushed him.

"Slowly… Make it last."

And he began a leisurely rhythm, slow, lazy, a circular journey of his hips on Noiz lap, and if kissing Aoba at first had been a little overwhelming, right at that moment Noiz felt a lump in his throat, and for a moment he thought he might cry. But of course he knew himself, and he was sure not only his eyes would be dry, but also his facial features wouldn't betray anything at all. He caressed Aoba's flushed face, trying to swallow the lump, to push it down. _So beautiful_. And then he thought that he didn't want to have sex with anyone else, ever. Only Aoba.

He memorised his moans and his sudden urgency, and the tremor of his shoulders when Noiz took his cock and pumped it following the same slow rhythm of his hips. And when he helped him to reach his peek, there were tears on his cheeks, because Aoba was real, not like him, who always felt like a fake version of a person. He came a minute after, encircling Aoba's waist with his arms, completely lost in his sensations. He vaguely felt a pair of arms wrapping him, holding his head and his whole body. He just wanted to disappear inside of Aoba, melt into him, turn into a ball and rest in a cosy corner inside of his lover's soul.

"You okay?" his ragged voice asked.

Noiz nodded, smiling lazily.

"And ready to do you again whenever you want, cry-baby."

Aoba laughed and poked at him playfully.


	5. Chapter 5

When his coil's alarm clock went off the next morning, Noiz found himself alone in his bed, and for a short, startling moment he thought he had dreamt everything about last night. But while stopping the alarm, he saw he had a new text in his coil: '_Got a call for a job interview, so I've got to dash. I'll tell you about it tonight, in the Rhyme grounds?'_ Noiz smirked: someone had obviously added their number into his coil when he was sleeping, and also taken his. He rolled over to sniff the scent of his lover on his pillow, and enjoyed five minutes more of hugging it against his chest.

And that evening Aoba was there, in the alley he had "predicted" the new game would take place, surrounded by scores of people who were waiting for Usui to start the matches. He waved Noiz with a smile. The German boy was surprised to find Aoba completely sober, calm and in a good mood, same as last night. Aoba told him he needed to go to bed early, because he was starting his new job at a hotel the next morning. So they both played among the first ones (not against each other, though), drank a beer with their acquaintances and left together, heading for Noiz' apartment.

That night Noiz did strip Aoba and lay him down, as he had wanted to do the previous night, and the blue haired boy complied and sighed against his forehead while Noiz kissed his whole body, taking his time, dragging languorously his lips and his tongue along every hill and plane of his skin, exploring every hidden nook and charting all the new territory. Afterwards, they talked for a while, lazy and already dozing, and Noiz fell asleep hugging Aoba, marvelled at how in peace he felt and how he had managed to find such a treasure.

The days started to pass in that fashion, Noiz going to school, doing his homework and studying in the afternoon, and then going to the Rhyme grounds in the evening; and in the meanwhile Aoba worked as a room waiter at a hotel, paid rushed visits to his grandmother and then met Noiz and played Rhyme. Sometimes he had to work in the night shift, and they couldn't meet, and sometimes he just vanished and Noiz didn't see him in a couple of days. Afterwards Aoba simply shrugged and changed topics, without giving Noiz any explanation. And there were also times when Noiz found the other boy already drunk or high at the Rhyme grounds, and then everything he said seemed to piss Aoba off and he ended telling Noiz to go home without waiting for him. He had noticed that after playing Rhyme Aoba almost always had an awful migraine, so he thought that was the cause of his behaviour. But that didn't alleviate much Noiz' sour mood after being dismissed or ignored by his supposed boyfriend.

A month after their first night, he found Aoba in the company of those two blond guys who looked so alike. Noiz frowned at once. He didn't like them at all; he knew they always gave drugs to Aoba after his match, and for free. Aoba said they were "his fans", but that didn't seem very reassuring to Noiz. It was obvious in the way they looked at Aoba, in the way they _touched_ him, that they wanted more from him. And Noiz didn't dare to ask his boyfriend what exactly he had done with them before being together with Noiz. He didn't want to know, past was past, but now Aoba was his, or that was what he wanted to believe, so he didn't like those guys fluttering around. And the way they smiled knowingly at him when they saw him approaching Aoba… well. _No comment_, he thought, gritting his teeth.

"Good evening, Noiz-san!" the one with the glasses said.

Noiz just nodded, going right to Aoba, placing a hand on his waist to lean in for a short kiss. The young man moved away, though, and Noiz felt his heart sink.

"Sly and we were going to have a drink, are you joining?" the other guy proposed.

Noiz studied his boyfriend's face; Aoba kept gazing at the street floor.

"I thought '_Sly_' had to get up early tomorrow…" he said, his eyes fixed on Aoba.

"It will be just a shot, someone has vodka. Come on!"

And the guy with the glasses had the gall of throwing an arm around Aoba's shoulder and pulling him from the wall he was leaning against to make him walk away. Noiz stayed froze in the spot, watching as his boyfriend left with those freaks, without turning to look at him once.

When he was able to react, he simply turned and went back home. He felt like crying, but his tears didn't want to go out, and preferred to stay in a lump inside his throat. He turned on his bed for hours, unable to sleep, cursing himself. He knew what he was getting into, oh yes, he knew… And he agreed all the same, and willingly. And a part of him would do it again without a second thought.

But the other part, the part who kept waking up only an hour later to find the other side of his bed still empty and cold, that part started to consider that he should dump Aoba. Perhaps the blue haired guy wasn't made for relationships after all, and nothing Noiz could do would change that.

When a key at the main door woke him up again, there was already daylight. He rubbed his eyes and then Aoba was there, looking at him hesitant from the bedroom's door. Noiz refused to say anything. After a moment, Aoba started to take his clothes off and climbed to bed next to Noiz, in his underwear. He waited a minute, watching Noiz, obviously waiting for some kind of sign, before he gave up and snuggled against Noiz. The boy accepted him, holding his torso as he always did. Aoba's breath smelled of alcohol and cigarettes, and his face was ashen and tired. Whatever the young man had had, the effects had already dissipated, leaving him just exhausted and vulnerable. But that wasn't news for Noiz. He sighed.

"Are… Are you going to dump me?" Aoba asked at last with a small voice.

And although Noiz had pondered about it, right then with Aoba between his arms he knew that he would never do that. He lifted a hand to caress his hair and kissed his cheek. Aoba seemed to relax and started to speak, his voice soft and dream-like in the early morning light.

"I wouldn't blame you… I've been a terrible boyfriend. You could have stayed with us, though, I swear nothing has happened… Virus and Trip have bought me a whisky shot and we have had some pills. It would have been funnier with you. I wanted you there."

_You didn't even look at me, Aoba_, Noiz thought. But he was too tired to say anything aloud.

"Look… I am how I am. I want this to work, you and me, but I need certain things… Rhyme, and pills and drink sometimes. Do you understand?"

Noiz kissed his forehead, still saying nothing. He understood Aoba in a way; he also felt the urge of self-destruction sometimes. It had been a stronger urge when he was younger, though, and in occasions he _needed_ to feel pain, or to inflict it. It was complicated. And he didn't feel like judging another person because their own personal demons.

Aoba seemed to get his silent agreement, because he grabbed his face between his hands and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I would really feel it if you left me, Noiz." With a sigh, Aoba lay down on top of his shoulder again. The silence that followed was so long that Noiz thought the boy was already sleeping. But then he whispered: "Everybody leaves me, after all. First my parents, my real parents, I mean. They abandoned me in a church when I was a baby. Then my foster parents, after just a couple of years of taking care of me… I think my poor granny would leave me, too, if she wasn't stuck with me. I bet she's glad of not having my ass at home any more these days."

Something inside Noiz' chest ached like a burn. He leaned downwards and kissed Aoba hungrily, ignoring the foul taste of his mouth. He stroked his cheeks and the tears that were starting to form in his eyes, wiping them.

"I will never leave you, Aoba", he whispered, his lips barely an inch apart from Aoba's mouth. "Let me take care of you, and I will be here for you, always." He kissed him again. "Always".

Aoba hid his face in Noiz' neck, embracing him tightly, and the younger boy felt the wetness of new tears on his skin. He drew reassuring patterns on Aoba's back with his hands until both of them fell finally asleep.

In the end, the young man lost the job at the hotel: the manager caught him asleep while on the clock, twice. Aoba reacted badly; his birthday was approaching, and he didn't want to turn eighteen without a job. Fortunately, he found a cashier position at a supermarket just a few days later, and he was relieved.

"I can't face my granny during my birthday meal if I have to go there and confess I'm unemployed", he admitted to Noiz.

When the day arrived, Noiz went with Aoba to his meet his granny for lunch. The day before, they had gone shopping clothes as his birthday present; Aoba really needed them and they had tons of fun (although they were almost caught having a bit too much of _fun_ in a fitting room, and had to leave that shop in a hurry). So Aoba got dressed in his new clothes and put his hair up in a high pony tail, and smiled brightly at Noiz, looking for his approbation. Noiz thought Aoba had a healthier look lately; he was trying to make him eat at normal times, and although Aoba didn't eat as much as Noiz and didn't enjoy their pre-cooked meals, at least he was having three meals a day. So all in all he thought he could be proud of the good influence he was being on Aoba.

His boyfriend's family house was in the South of the island, fairly central. It was a two stories semi-detached house, with a front yard, inlaid between two slightly higher buildings. Aoba opened the front door with a wide smile, and shouted:

"We are here, granny!"

An almost dwarf woman with a ridiculous hairstyle stuck her head out the kitchen's door and grunted:

"Not that I wouldn't heard you anyway if you don't shout like that… Come over here and help setting the table!"

Noiz had to admit the little woman was intimidating. They had been so focused on grooming Aoba and making him look like a responsible adult, that they hadn't paid any attention to Noiz look, or how he was supposed to behave at Tae's house. Cursing inwardly, Noiz thought he would be glad to have some tips. Especially when the woman looked him over with a not-impressed face, frowning, and said nothing. He understood perfectly well what Aoba said about not being able to face her stern look.

Things got less awkward when they sat at the table: the food was varied and excellent, and Aoba was in a really good mood and did all the talk, smiling and eating while explaining Tae about his new job. She stopped frowning and asked his grandson some questions about daily life, and Noiz contented himself with enjoying the meal and listening to his boyfriend. When the old woman's curiosity about Aoba was sated, she turned towards Noiz, though. She seemed to know more or less about his situation, and asked about practical things: where was his apartment, if they needed something for it, if he also had any part-time job… It didn't feel like an interrogatory, so Noiz was quite relieved. Still, the woman didn't seem relaxed in their presence. When they were already having a tea and some house-made pastries, Noiz excused himself and pretended to go to the toilet. He actually stood behind the door and listened to them.

"So, Aoba", Tae said, sighing. "You told me he was younger than you, but I didn't expect a kid".

"He's not a kid", Aoba answered, frowning.

"He is. How old is he, fifteen? Aoba, you are now of age, you should have better judgement than to squat in a kid's flat and play boyfriends. Besides…"

"What?" Noiz couldn't see Aoba, but his voice came weakly.

"…You know how you are, Aoba. Do you think it's fair for that young boy to try to cope with you? You will break his heart. Or more than his heart."

"Granny! I'm… I'm trying, alright? I know… I know how I am, and he knows too. I know I'm a wreck, but he makes me want to try harder".

Noiz fisted his hands at hearing this, his heart aching all of a sudden. He coughed and stepped in the kitchen again.

After the pastries, they played cards for a while, and then they said goodbye to Tae. She gave Aoba a pair of new headphones, that Aoba wanted to try right then, delighted, and before parting she told Noiz, in front of her grandson:

"Whatever you need, you know where I am. Don't let my grandson become a burden for you. I don't want him to take advantage of you."

"Granny!" Aoba shouted, red as a beetle.

Noiz felt extremely awkward; if his family was the kind of people who never, ever, talked about their issues, Tae was the exact opposite. But in a way it was exhilarating, so he smiled at the old woman and held Aoba's hand.

"Sure! Come visit when you wish, you sure want to see how Aoba lives."

"Indeed."

"Enough of that, you two, I'm in front of you, don't talk as if I wasn't here!"

Aoba was really funny, flushed and angered, and Noiz couldn't help to chuckle. Tae grinned and hugged his grandson.

"I'm really sorry", Aoba apologised as soon as they were in the street. His cheeks and ears were still tinged in a pink. "She treats everybody like that."

Noiz smirked.

"It's OK. I just wished she liked me more."

"Ah, but she likes you."

"No, she doesn't. She thinks I'm a little kid."

Aoba offered him a mischievous smile.

"But she's right… Not that I find anything wrong with you being a kid, though…"

And he leaned in for a short kiss. Noiz sighed loudly against his lips.

"Yes, a kid who is actually taller than you…"

Aoba blushed again, noticing the tiny height difference between them.

"Oi! That's not fair, I'm older than you!"

Noiz gave him a crooked grin.

"I can't find anything wrong with you being a shorty, babe." And then he kissed Aoba's pouting mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

Some weeks passed mostly uneventful, for Noiz' relief, but then one day he came back home from school and Aoba was there, playing videogames at the sitting room.

"Hi! What's up?" he asked, kissing him on top of his head.

Aoba turned to look him over, humming in appreciation. He always did that when he had the chance to see Noiz in his school uniform, and as although Noiz hated that damned uniform, that reaction made him chuckle. _One of these days I'm going to ask him to wear it,_ he thought. Aoba's character was killed in the screen, prompting him to curse loudly and turn off the game. He got up the couch and followed him to their bedroom, where Noiz headed always when he arrived home, eager to take his uniform off and change into more comfortable clothes.

"…So I was at my station, right?" Aoba started to explain. "And then this guy appeared, a fucking loser with a tear tattooed on his cheek, can you believe it? Well, I commented on that silly tattoo, and the guy goes and tells me it's the brand of his Rib team, and then starts to say how Rib is the absolute greatest shit in the world, and Rhyme is for hipsters who just want to play games and don't have the bollocks to face the real thing…"

Noiz hanged his jacket and rubbed his temples.

"…I know how this ends…" he sighed.

Aoba had the decency to look a bit ashamed.

"Well… I swear I don't know how it started, but it seems we broke some things in the supermarket, so the manager got angry…"

"What a surprise", Noiz smirked.

Aoba's face lighted up again.

"But then the ribster felt guilty I was fired for his fault, and he invited me to the place he works for a drink. It's a tattoo parlour, but it also has a bar. So in the end the ribster turned out to be a rather decent guy to hang out with."

_That's Aoba making friends for you_, Noiz chuckled. Well, at least his boyfriend wasn't as depressed as he usually was after being fired from a job. He approached and offered him a hug, just in case. Aoba did reek of buzz and cigarettes.

"You know you don't have to fret about money, at least… Just relax until something appears."

"I know! But I feel useless without a job. You go to school, study hard for your exams and earn money with Rhyme. I don't do anything at all! And no, before you suggest it again, I'm not coming back to school. If I am a disaster at a job, you can imagine how much I fitted in high school."

"You could just help me with Rhyme betting…"

Aoba pouted.

"That's not enough."

Noiz sighed, defeated, and flopped on the bed with his arms open. Aoba lay by his side, face down, resting his weight on his forearms.

"This bed is too narrow. Can we exchange it for the one in your parents' bedroom?" Aoba asked, noticing how one of Noiz' hands hanged out of the bed.

"No way, my parents are coming back for Christmas, and I don't want them to see any change in the apartment."

"Oh. So I will have to spend Christmas at my granny's?"

"If you don't mind."

"Nah."

Noiz looked at him, smiling. He raised his hand and draw Aoba's lips with his index.

"Chinese takeaway sounds good?" he asked.

"Only if you fuck me first", Aoba whispered, triggering goose bumps on Noiz' skin.

"I was going to have a shower", Noiz complained, pretending he wasn't as eager as Aoba.

"We can do both things at the same time", Aoba said, licking his boyfriend's neck.

And he stood up from the bed and ran towards the bathroom, giggling. Noiz sighed and thought that life could be good, sometimes.

* * *

After the supermarket, Aoba found a job as a night watchman at a local market. It lasted just a few nights, because Aoba missed Rhyme. And then there was a kitchen helper position in a restaurant, which surprisingly made Aoba start to cook at home. Noiz thought it was a tough job, for all the things Aoba explained about it, but the young man seemed quite happy at it, as he was learning a lot about cooking.

But Aoba being Aoba, even when he tried his best to avoid problems there was always something off. His headaches after playing Rhyme worsened, and with them his mood. He wouldn't stop playing, being as addicted as Noiz to the game, but his general mood in the evenings was foul, and people tended to avoid him at the Rhyme grounds. Drugs only turned him more aggressive, and more often than not he ended the night solving an argument with fists and kicks. Not that Noiz didn't like a good fight sometimes, because he still did, but he was a little concerned: after all, Aoba felt the pain of his injuries, not like him.

He got to know his boyfriend's new friend a couple of weeks later. It was Aoba's day off, and when Noiz arrived home from school he found them watching youtube videos on their coils. The ribster was dark skinned, although Noiz couldn't guess where his parents were from. And yes, he had a rather ridiculous tattoo in the shape of a teardrop on his left cheek, under his eye.

"Oh, so this is your boyfriend?" he asked Aoba after he introduced them.

"Yes, something wrong with that?" Aoba frowned. "He's the hottest guy in Midorijima, so you can shut your mouth up."

The guy, called Mizuki, giggled at this.

"OK, if you say so… It just came as a surprise that you like them so young, Aoba."

The blue haired boy pouted and hooked an arm around Noiz' waist.

"It's not like that! I just like Noiz. And wait a couple of years, your jaw will drop to the floor when you see him! But it will be too late, because he's already mine!"

Mizuki laughed a lot at this.

"Not interested, so good for you! Hey, Aoba says you are in a Rhyme team, but perhaps you would like to try Rib one of these days…"

"No, he won't", Aoba cut him. "He doesn't need a broken nose to add to his attractive, thank you."

"We would take good care of him, we are not savages, you know? But it's OK, if papa says 'no', I respect it."

Noiz laughed.

"Hey, Aoba, would you like me to call you 'daddy'?" he asked, mocking.

Aoba looked at him through squinted eyes.

"Would you like me to move to the other bedroom? Call me that and I will move at fucking once."

Noiz and Mizuki grinned, and Aoba joined after a moment.

"I see you like piercings", Mizuki said then. "You should pop by my shop and take a look at our tattoos. Wouldn't you like to have one made? I would make you a good price, being Aoba's boyfriend."

"Hmmm… Do you also do piercings?"

"Yes, of course!"

"I would like to have a couple more done."

Aoba's face fell.

"Really?" he commented. "Where?"

"Surprise!" Noiz smirked, mischievously, making Aoba blush.

They ended accompanying Mizuki to his job, when it was its opening time, and Mizuki's colleague put a new piercing into Noiz, one in a very private place. He refused to tell Aoba where exactly he had placed it, enjoying his annoyed face. He would found out later, either way.

So after all he agreed with Aoba about Mizuki being a nice mate, even if he didn't play Rhyme. Much better than most of Aoba's acquaintances, especially than those two blond freaks.

* * *

Time passed by quickly and Christmas was coming soon. And, of course, before Christmas there were exams. That term Noiz was struggling with kanji: the amount required to pass with good grades looked unattainable to the boy. He expected high grades in the rest of his subjects, but kanji scored the most in his evaluation. And he had promised his parents he would pass with flying colours, same as last year. So he started to skip Rhyme matches, asking a mate from his team to collect the betting money for him. Aoba wasn't very happy of having to go out every evening without him, but he went anyway. As a result, the state he usually came back home was way worse than usual.

One of those nights he came back rather early, finding Noiz still working on a project. He had been all the afternoon bent over his computer, going over all the information he had gathered and trying to organize it in written shape, but he was progressing too slowly. He still had some weeks to hand the essay in, but it was discouraging. Aoba went to embrace him from behind as soon as he took his coat off. Noiz grabbed one of his hands and kissed it, distracted, but then Aoba leaned onwards and started kissing his neck, and suddenly he had all his attention, project be damned. Noiz pulled his boyfriend down until the boy was sat on his lap, and snogged him thoroughly. He tasted of whisky and of something bitter. Pouting, he let Aoba go.

"I still need to work for a while, babe. I'm sorry."

"Then take a rest. Or follow another day. It isn't for tomorrow, right?"

Noiz nodded. It was late anyway, around midnight for sure. But he should finish the epigraph he was working on, at least, or the next day he wouldn't remember what he intended to put on it. He tried to explain Aoba, but he was obviously high and at first even refused to budge from his lap. Then he started stroking him again from behind.

"Please, Aoba, it won't take me long…"

The young man huffed in annoyance and flopped onto the couch. He lay there facedown, playing with his hair and watching Noiz.

"You are not fun at all these days", he complained.

Noiz had to remind himself that the sober Aoba encouraged him with his studies. The one he had in front, though, was too enticing for his taste at that very moment.

"I have a spare pill…" Aoba whispered in his most tempting voice. "Take it with me and leave the work for tomorrow."

Noiz started to type faster, cursing.

"I don't like to do drugs… And I can't see the need of doing them at home, thank you", he said to his boyfriend.

Aoba shrugged and sat up with his back to Noiz.

"As I said, such a killjoy…"

He took his t-shirt off and let it drop to the floor. Under it he was wearing a black tank top, stuck to his lean torso and outlining it. He cracked his shoulder bones, arching his back to stretch and relax his neck, and Noiz' gaze followed the ridge of his spine and the graceful shape of his shoulders. Then he stretched his arms over his head, with lazy and cat-like movements, and started rearranging his loose tail, tying his hair up and showing off his beautiful and long neck. _All calculated_, Noiz growled. And of course he was right, because Aoba couldn't help to turn his head slightly to check the effect he was having on his boyfriend. At seeing Noiz staring at him, the young man grinned mischievously, and Noiz surrendered and got up from his chair, approaching Aoba.

Noiz embraced Aoba from behind, mouthing his neck, and being rewarded with a hot moan.

"Noiz…"

"You are so hot."

"Eat the pill with me."

Noiz stopped.

"Please?"

Aoba turned and sat up facing Noiz. The teenager felt frustrated.

"It's bad enough having sex with you while you are high, Aoba…"

"Why? You never said anything."

"Well, it's you, I don't want to preach. But you seem a bit distant whenever you are high."

Aoba sighed.

"That's the problem when just one of us is using. Come on, take one with me, just tonight."

Noiz acquiesced… as the two of them knew he would. He ate the damned pill, grabbed Aoba's hand and led him to the bedroom. He stripped Aoba slowly, kissing every inch of skin, taking his time, as Aoba liked, starting by his tank top and moving lower, kneeling in front of him and removing his belt, his jeans, his underwear and his socks. Aoba kept distracting him, caressing his head, and Noiz started to find it annoying and ended pushing Aoba on top of the bed and searching for something to tie his wrists to the headboard. Only when he was halfway tying him facedown he did realise the drugs must have been kicking into his system, because he was always very careful and tender with Aoba. But the young man seemed perfectly alright with it, so he kept going, shrugging it off. He lay on top of his boyfriend and enjoyed kissing and caressing his skin, adding a bit of nails sometimes. He checked this was still alright: Aoba just moaned lightly at his nail pressure. Good.

Then he squeezed his rounded buttocks, hard, biting the soft flesh, and let his tongue prod along his crack, eliciting a loud groan from Aoba. His tongue found the puckered hole and lapped around it; he only did that when he felt naughty, but he knew Aoba loved it, and the reaction was immediate: a whole body shudder ran through the young man, and he started to moan Noiz' name. Smirking at this, the boy started to lick the hole, prodding inside a bit and then retiring his tongue again to caress the perineum.

"Noiz, please!"

"Please, what? What do you want, love?"

"Stop playing and fuck me!"

Noiz' grin widened.

"Are we a little impatient tonight? You are the one who wants it slow."

"I need it now, to hell with slow!"

Noiz sat up between Aoba's legs and took a moment to admire him while he stripped of his remaining clothes. He had to admit that his boyfriend's naked body, with his arms stretched and tied to the headboard with a scarf, was perhaps the hottest thing he had seen in his life, and he was tempted to take a pic on his coil. But a wriggle and a grunt showed him how impatient Aoba was by now, so he hurried on and put some lube on his fingers, coating his erection over the condom. He immediately pressed his glans against the inviting and wet hole in front of him, making Aoba gasp.

"Wait… no fingers?"

"Let me try…" Noiz said between grunts. "It's going in pretty well… Does it hurt, babe?"

"A bit… Ah! Don't stop now! Faster!"

Noiz smirked. He pressed deeper, but start thrusting painfully slow. Under him, Aoba writhed and moaned loudly, bucking and trying to thrust back into Noiz, to get his cock deeper and at a faster rhythm. He wasn't going to succeed, though, because Noiz grabbed suddenly his nape and held him there, unable to move.

"Noiz!" Aoba called, with strangled voice.

"Whatever is the matter, babe?" Noiz asked, mockingly.

But he made sure he wasn't holding him too hard so he could breathe. He moved forward and raised Aoba's hips higher, making him arch his back, and pounded into the chore of him, gaining a startled cry from Aoba and a dangerous creak from the bed.

"Do you like it like that?" he asked, panting. "…Aoba?"

"Yesss… But I want more…"

"Then I'll give you more."

Noiz plunged in again, hard and deep, propelling the whole bed against the wall, and started to speed up, clawing at Aoba's waist with one hand and pressing on his nape with the other. He was completely coated in sweat by now, and he was aware of how the drops of sweat fell on top of Aoba, but he didn't care. All that mattered was the white pleasure of his cock when it rammed into Aoba's ass, the delicious heat that shrouded them as a blanket, and the lovely whines of Aoba at every rough push of his hips. He sped up at last, and realised he was really close and he would last barely a minute at full speed. So he stroked again Aoba's hip and then lowered his hand until he found a nicely full erection to pump.

"Noiz!"

Aoba's voice was desperate by now. He turned a bit and fixed his eyes on Noiz.

"Choke me", he asked.

Noiz was startled; that had been a very clear and definite request. He hesitated for a moment. Then he moved forward until he lay completely on top of Aoba and passed an arm around his neck, balancing his weight on his other arm. When he was positioned, he started to move again, trying to go as deep as he could, and then fast and rough again. Aoba reached down and pumped himself in earnest. Noiz waited until he knew, because of the little sobs and moans beneath him, that Aoba was almost there, and then, only then, he did pressed his arm against Aoba's throat, strangling him. The young man shuddered violently, emitting a long muffled cry, and whimpered when Noiz thrust into him again, releasing his come violently inside the condom, and letting go of Aoba's neck at once. Panting, he crawled into his hands and knees, untied his boyfriend and turned him face up to check on him.

"Aoba… Are you okay?"

The young man giggled, his eyes still closed, and Noiz couldn't help to chuckle and kiss him lightly.

"That was mad, you moron", he complained with a contented sigh, raising Aoba's head until it was on his lap. He rubbed his boyfriend's bruised wrists in what he hope was a soothing way. "What's got into you all of a sudden?"

"I told you doing it while high was fantastic."

"Don't be dense… You could have asked. You don't need to be high to do whatever you want in bed."

Aoba opened his pretty doe eyes and smiled warmly at him.

"Would you have accepted, if I had asked any other day?"

Noiz felt confused, but he shrugged it off and kissed Aoba again.

"Shut up. Now I know, so from now on, just ask, alright?"

Aoba turned to his side and hugged his middle, still smiling.

"'right, Fritz Kid."


	7. Chapter 7

Noiz cut the communication on his coil without a Word. Aoba was watching him, and even after hearing only Noiz' part of the conversation, consisting mostly of nods and grunts, the missing part of the message was quite obvious.

"They are not coming", Aoba prompted.

Noiz didn't answer, his gaze lost somewhere near his sock-clad feet. Aoba sighed and embraced him from behind.

"Hey, the good part is that I get to spend Christmas with you", he said.

Noiz turned his neck to look at him.

"I would have met you every day all the same, Aoba."

"I know". Aoba gave him a short peck. "What happened, why are they not coming?"

Noiz shrugged.

"Too much work, as always."

"Perhaps you could go to see them, then."

"Nah, they suggested it, but I don't want to. I don't mind seeing my parents or not, to be honest; fuck them and their work. I bet if it was my brother the one who was abroad they would have left everything to spend Christmas with him."

Aoba didn't reply, but hugged him tighter.

"OK, I'm a bit jealous, but in fact Theo is the only member of my family that I was really looking forward to see… And I wanted him to meet you so badly!"

That made Aoba smile warmly.

A week later, already Christmas Eve, a knock on the sitting room window startled Noiz, and what he saw outside the glass made his jaw fall open.

Because there, crouched on the window ledge, there was a Santa-disguised Aoba, grinning brightly at him. Noiz had to do a double take, blinking. Last time he knew, his boyfriend was in their bedroom, right? How the hell had he appeared out there? He rushed to open the window.

"Thank god, I was freezing here!" Aoba exclaimed with a smirk, jumping inside their sitting room.

Noiz examined the narrow ledge outside; indeed, it communicated their sitting room and their bedroom, but it couldn't be more than thirty centimetres wide, and they were in a sixth floor!

"Aoba, you are crazy! How the hell did you think that was a good idea?"

Noiz had barely the time to close the window again, leaving outside the cold December breeze, when his sexy Santa threw himself on top of him, ignoring his words.

"Happy Christmas, Noiz!" Aoba purred on his ear, before kissing him deeply.

Noiz obligated, and when they parted he took his time to watch his boyfriend, clad in red capris, rimmed in fake ermine, with a matching sweater, and black and white long socks and his usual brown short boots. Noiz caressed the reindeer ears that finished the outfit with a grin.

"Tell me I get to fuck you in these clothes…"

Aoba raised his hand to stop him, still smiling.

"Ah-ah, all at its due time! First you must open your presents!"

And then Noiz noticed that Aoba was carrying an actual sack. He laughed in earnest when the young man sat on his lap and started taking wrapped items out the sack: they were all small things, sweets, stationery, a belt, a book, a second-hand videogame… but it meant Aoba had been preparing that perhaps for weeks. Noiz couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

"Hey, where's the milk and cookies for the reindeers?" Aoba asked, playful.

Noiz ran to the kitchen and came back with a mug of milk and a packet of cookies. Aoba reached for them, but Noiz wouldn't have any of that. Instead, he took a cookie out the packet, broke a bit out of it and put the bit in Aoba's mouth. He fed Aoba the milk and one cookie and a half, before he had to put the mug and the packet aside to kiss his Santa, sloppily, unable to stop himself. Aoba panted on his mouth and told him:

"Ready for the rest of your Christmas present, I see…"

Noiz giggled and started stripping his boyfriend, finding out he was wearing matching lingerie underneath. He took Aoba right there, on the couch, while still wearing those cute reindeer ears, and afterwards swore to him that this one was his best Christmas ever, without discussion.

"I wanted to make it special for you", Aoba whispered, relaxing on Noiz' shoulder.

"It would have been special just for having you around, Aoba", Noiz answered, kissing him lightly. "But thank you very much. Next year it will be my turn of preparing a surprise for you, alright?"

"Deal!"

* * *

All in all, the year started well. Noiz grades had been good, although he thought he could have done better, and Aoba was unemployed again, but for once it wasn't his fault -the restaurant where he worked had been forced to close because of economical problems-, so he didn't feel too down and was looking for a new job with a positive mood. In all honesty, Noiz preferred when Aoba had a job, because too much free time usually meant the guy would have more chances of getting into trouble. He got drunk more often and earlier, and he had a tendency of ticking people off when he was drunk, which meant he came home sporting a black eye more than once. But in general he was behaving.

Some weeks later they were already deep in the new school term, and Noiz had to work on yet another project. Frowning, he decided the Japanese school system was way more demanding that he expected. He resigned himself to lose again some Rhyme evenings in order to work and being able to hand in his project on time.

At one in the morning he decided he was too tired to keep at it, so he retired to bed, yawning. To his surprise, when his alarm clock went off the next morning, Aoba wasn't there yet. He called him to his coil, but nobody picked it up. He didn't have the time to fret right there, so he sent him a good morning text and started his daily routine.

When he did start to fret was when he arrived from school and there weren't any news from his boyfriend yet. He hadn't been at their apartment, and he hadn't phoned him or answered his text. A lot of different possibilities, each one darker than the other, started to pass through his mind. Aoba was fed up with him and had decided to break up. Aoba had met an ex-lover and was now being thoroughly fucked, having the time of his life. Aoba had had a car accident and he was dead.

Cursing, he tried to find lighter and more normal alternatives: he had met some friends and was spending the day with them. Tae was ill and he was taking care of her. He had been called for an urgent job, and he didn't have the time to come home first. Alright. But in all those scenarios Aoba would certainly call him. Noiz breathed deeply, trying to relax. _OK, don't agonize, everything's going to be alright, there's a logic explanation for this_, he thought. _Let's add to this that his coil is malfunctioning._ But he would call using another coil, even a public phone would suffice. Noiz groaned, rubbing his temples.

He called Mizuki and a couple of mutual acquaintances: nobody seemed to have seen Aoba the previous night. He didn't have Tae's number, so he decided to go to her house. He rang the doorbell for ten minutes, but nobody was there. He made a quick visit to that night's Rhyme grounds. It was still early, and he found very few people, and the ones he knew were elusive and said nothing. That made his heart sink: the scenario with Aoba finding another guy started to go up his top ten. He went back home in a murderous mood. Once there, he forced himself to work for some hours on his project, but the weight in his stomach wasn't helping him to be more productive.

He woke up the next morning with an empty and cold spot by his side, and he felt miserable. He checked his coil: still nothing. He resigned himself to go to school again and just wait for news.

His coil beeped with an incoming message when he was arriving to his apartment.

_They are transferring Aoba to a ward, the room is 207._

It was from Mizuki. Noiz froze on the spot, trying to make out the meaning of the sentence in his mind. _A ward. Room 207._ That sounded definitely like a hospital. He phoned Mizuki, while searching information in his coil about Midorijima's hospitals.

"Noiz?"

"Yes! Where's Aoba?!"

"Are you at the hospital?"

"No! I have just come out from school, I didn't even know Aoba was in hospital!"

Long silence at the other side of the line.

"You… didn't know? Nobody phoned you?"

Noiz hadn't felt so frustrated in his entire life.

"Just… Just tell me in which hospital is him, please, and what happened."

"Ah… yes, the General Hospital, is called; it's the biggest one in Midorijima, do you know where it is?"

Noiz was already running towards it.

"And about what happened, I wasn't there, I told you, but it seems he overdosed, and also he had a fight with someone, or more than one someone."

Noiz cursed. _And I wasn't there._

"But he is out of danger now, thank god… Are you going to see him now?"

"Yes, I'm on my way!"

"Give him regards, I was there this morning but he was still unconscious."

Noiz thanked him and hanged up, running faster.

Room 207. Noiz stopped to regain his breath in front of the door. He was afraid of what he could meet inside. But Mizuki had said he was out of danger, right? He peered through the narrow glass at the side of the door. Was that Aoba on the bed? Yes, because that was Tae sitting on the armchair, and then he saw the long blue hair of his boyfriend. His heart skipped a beat when he finally dared to push the door open.

Tae turned to look at him immediately, but Aoba only did it a moment later. By then, the old woman had grabbed Noiz' arm and was dragging him to the aisle.

"I need to speak with you, Noiz", Tae said, before the boy could open his mouth. "There are some things you have to know, and we can't speak in front of Aoba."

"Why not? Let me see him!"

"He will be alright. But two nights ago he overdosed and got beaten. The beating wasn't that important, a broken arm, some bruises and a concussion. But the drugs they found inside his organism… Some of them were unknown to the doctors of the hospital."

Noiz paled.

"As a result of the drugs, he had lost most of his recent memory. He doesn't remember playing Rhyme, or almost anything from these last years."

Noiz clenched his fists, waiting for the last blow that he was already expecting. Tae sighed loudly and said it, looking at Noiz with sympathy.

"He doesn't remember you."

"Let me see him. He will remember me."

Tae grabbed his forearm again. And while the sympathy was still on her face, there was something more there. Determination.

"I'd rather not." Noiz looked at her with anger. "Look, Noiz, this has been for the best. He doesn't remember Rhyme, but we have told him he overdosed and got into a fight, and he feels sorry and ashamed, and wants to behave from now on. So the further he is kept from Rhyme and all the friends related to the game, the better."

"I'm not _a friend_", Noiz almost spat.

"You are… a kid, sorry, but that's the truth, Noiz. I know how you feel about him, but now what he needs is an adult who takes care of him. Not a kid taking care of another kid, that would never work. Aoba is too unstable, you know that. He has changed, besides."

"What do you mean?" Noiz asked with a weak voice. _Still another blow?_

Tae grunted and avoided his eyes.

"He might not be the same Aoba you know. He is taking a drug which will make him more mentally stable, but it has its consequences."

Noiz pushed the old woman aside, the gentlest way he could manage, but he needed to see his boyfriend right then. Once inside the room, Aoba looked at them and smiled weakly. His face was swollen and bruised, and his right arm was in a plaster, but apart from that he seemed quite alright. What took Noiz aback was that smile, though, because he knew perfectly well every single of his boyfriend's smiles. And that was the polite smile he showed when he was puzzled.

"Aoba", Tae intervened, "this is Noiz, a friend of yours."

"Ah, thank you for coming to visit." Aoba's voice was weak and gentle. "I suppose Tae has explained you that I have amnesia… so I don't remember you, I'm really sorry."

Noiz couldn't say a word, the lump in his throat was threatening to choke him. After an awkward silence, Aoba asked:

"Ah… You are in Middle School, right? What is our connection, are you the younger brother of a friend of mine? I'm sorry for not remembering."

Noiz couldn't bear it any more and stormed out of the room. Tae joined him in the aisle a minute later.

"I told you", she said.

Noiz wished he was able to cry. Perhaps that could alleviate the intense sorrow that was drowning him.

"I know, you had to see it for yourself", she added.

"Will he recover his memories? What do the doctors say?"

"I highly doubt it. It wasn't the blow to his head, it was a drug. We can't identify all the elements, but the ones we have been able to… are especially designed to affect the temporal lobe. And the drug we are giving him now will help him feel in control again, but it also will block the access to his temporal lobe: he will make new memories from now on, but I doubt the mechanisms that would help him to restore his missing memories will work. I regret to having to tell you, Noiz, but Aoba will need to re-learn some daily procedures, and will have a tough time controlling his emotions at first. It will be hard work."

"I will take care of him."

Tae huffed.

"He doesn't even remember you, child! He took you for a younger brother of someone a moment ago! You are not suited to take care of Aoba; in fact is you who need an adult to care for you, you are too young to be on your own."

"We were doing fine!" Noiz exclaimed, almost raising his voice.

"Yes, I see how well you two were doing…" Tae managed to look at him condescendingly from her lower height. "Come back home, study hard at school and forget Aoba. You are young and will find ten boyfriends more in a year, I'm sure."

Noiz felt like slapping her for saying that. But perhaps she was right and he wasn't suited for helping Aoba. After all, he had been with him for five months and still this had happened. He hadn't been able to help Aoba at all. He leaned against the room door, resting his forehead against the glass. Aoba was looking at him, and he waved him, with a hesitant look. Noiz didn't have the strenght to wave him back. Without a further word, he turned and left the hospital, heading for the stairs and the front door with wide strides.


	8. Chapter 8

The next month was the hardest one Noiz could remember having in his entire life. He never, ever, had felt such loneliness, not even when his parents and his brother flew back to Germany, and not even when he had to spend all his days locked in his bedroom when he was younger and wasn't allowed to go to school. Because in the past he didn't have anything to compare to, but right then those five months with Aoba were laughing at his face, and it wasn't a nice laugh. At all.

Although he would mock any psychiatrist who would have suggested it, he started indeed to go through the stages of loss. Denial was the first one: for days he was convinced it would only be a temporary thing, and Aoba would eventually regain his memory and he would appear at his door with a bag of handmade doughnuts and a bright smile, as he did sometimes when they were starting to date. But as the days started to pass, that possibility looked more and more remote.

Then he became angry, and started to question all his team members; someone had to witness what happened that night. He wanted to punch, kick and perhaps kill whoever put his boyfriend into oblivion. His team mates tolerated his rage and tried to reassure him; but Noiz knew there were already some rumours circulating and nobody wanted to tell him to his face. Rhyme was the only remedy to his burning anger, and his friends were happy to let him their turns in the game. He would end the night having fought two rounds most nights, even three. Whatever allowed him to drop dead on his bed for the rest of the night, without dreams, without regrets.

When a couple of weeks had already passed by and he looked calmer, some Ruff Rabbit members took him aside, passed him a joint and a beer, and then they finally told him all they knew about the fatidic night.

It was basically a long version of what he already knew (Aoba had taken too many pills, and had played Rhyme, and afterwards some guys had gotten pissed at him and had beaten him to a pulp), but it also included a comatose guy in hospital thanks to Aoba's Rhyme abilities, which was the detonating for the guy's team to have it in for Aoba.

"How come?" he asked, scowling. "It's not possible to injure someone in Rhyme, the injuries are only virtual."

The others shrugged. Nobody was sure how that had happened, but they were all sure there was indeed a rhymer in a coma in hospital thanks to Aoba. And, worst of all, it wasn't the first time it had happened.

Noiz didn't know what to make of all of that. He started to wonder what would have happened if he had been there that night. Would had it helped the whole situation, or would had it ended the same way? He would never know. Tae's words came back to him every night. _I am not fit to take care of Aoba_. That thought depressed him to no end. He started to go to his schoolmates' houses to study every afternoon, and then, in the evening, he would stay with his team until the last one abandoned the Rhyme grounds. Because facing his apartment alone was a tad too much. Tae had come to fetch Aoba's stuff the day before the young man was discharged, but Noiz had kept some items, and even without his things, every corner of the flat had some memory about his boyfriend attached to it.

And trying to sleep alone was the worst. After the first week, Aoba's scent on his pillow started to fade. Refusing to put it to the laundry, Noiz chased the remnants of his boyfriend's scent every night, turning the pillow to one side and then the other, until he usually could find an inch of the fabric that reminisced a bit of the blue haired boy, and then Noiz would hug the other pillow and pretend it was Aoba, with his bare chest pressed against Noiz', and would dry hump the fabric until he lost the scent and subsequently the mood, and then he would search again for it, but it usually didn't appear again. That, every night.

In the end, the need of seeing Aoba was so strong that he passed in front of Tae's house that evening, in his way to play Rhyme. He wondered which of the first floor windows was his boyfriend's, and betted for one in particular, facing the narrow side alley. He passed again in his way back to his apartment, and repeated it the next day. He finally succeed in seeing him that second night, when he was walking back home after the game. Aoba was leaning on the handrail of the narrow balcony over the alley; and yes, it was the same window Noiz had thought. He wasn't smoking, though; he seemed to be just getting some fresh air while petting his dog allmate. Noiz stopped, smiling, and leaned back against the wall of the house in front of Aoba's, watching his boyfriend while he seemed to talk to his pet. He was in the dark, but some sixth sense alerted Aoba that he was being watched, and after barely a minute he turned to look directly at Noiz. The boy started walking again, fast, hiding his face.

But of course he started to pass in front of Aoba's house on a daily basis, his heart pumping wildly every time he caught a glimpse of the blue haired boy. Until one day he saw him going out the house and slamming the door shut, and then crouching against the wall, inside the small patio, with his face hidden between his legs. Noiz stared at him until he noticed the way his shoulders trembled. _What the fucking hell…_, he thought with a sigh, and he approached the young man, entering the patio and squatting by his side. He was so silent that Aoba didn't notice him and kept sobbing quietly. Noiz wanted to put a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't dare, contenting himself with letting himself being noticed.

"Hey", he said.

Aoba froze and then started to wipe his face with his sleeve, furiously. Only when his face was again more or less in check he dared to look up to Noiz.

_Difference number 1 in Aoba: his eyes aren't golden anymore. They are a greenish hazel now_, Noiz thought.

And even though he was looking at his boyfriend's face, and apart from the slightly darker colour of his eyes all his features were the same, he couldn't see his Aoba at all. The expression, the look in his eyes, so wide, so open, didn't belong to Aoba, and Noiz felt a sudden sharp pain in his chest.

"I know you", Aoba whispered, unsure.

Noiz nodded. He had to be very careful or he would scare this new Aoba. And he looked so fragile.

"I came to visit you at the hospital. My name is Noiz."

A light of recognition sparked in Aoba's eyes, and he offered a tiny smile.

"Ah, now I remember! You were wearing a school uniform."

"Yes, that's me. And how are you doing?"

Aoba looked away and frowned, and it was obvious how distressed he felt.

"Not that good. I… I am useless. Granny says it's normal after what happened, but sometimes I can't stand not knowing how to do… anything! I can't remember where the things in the house are and keep tripping over the same stuff again and again… Shit, I can't even remember how the rice cooker works!"

_Perhaps that happens because you haven't lived in that house or used the rice cooker in some months_, Noiz thought. But he said nothing. He still wasn't over that open and vulnerable face Aoba was showing to the world. Because it wasn't fair; that face, that voice, belonged only to Noiz, to late night conversations in bed, to lazy Sunday mornings when they would have sex and laugh and eat the strangest combinations they could find in their fridge, it was something intimate. Aoba couldn't be wearing his heart in his sleeve like that now, offering it to everybody. Noiz wanted to clutch him and never let him go. But he wasn't his any more.

Noiz came back from his reverie when he noticed the questioning look Aoba was giving him, and remembered in time that Aoba couldn't read his face at all. Well, in the last months he was getting better at it, but of course now that improvement had vanished and they were back to square one. He tried to offer a reassuring smile.

"So… you didn't answer me at the hospital. How do we know each other?" Aoba asked after a long silence.

"I was your boyfriend", Noiz whispered.

Aoba raised an eyebrow, smirking.

"Oh, so now I date middle schoolers? Excuse me if I find that a bit difficult to believe."

Noiz could imagine perfectly well what Aoba was picturing about their relationship: he surely thought Noiz was a younger acquaintance with an unrequited crush on the older boy. He suddenly felt too tired for that conversation and straightened up.

"You leaving?"

Aoba seemed disappointed, but Noiz really had to put some distance between them, and right then.

"Yes. I'll see you around."

For the first time, he started to ponder if perhaps it wouldn't be better to come back to Germany.

* * *

He ended paying a visit to Mizuki at his tattoo parlour, just because he knew the tattooist was still in contact with Aoba. He genuinely seemed happy to see Noiz, and that was something.

"How is it that you are allowed to visit Aoba?" he asked Mizuki.

He was sitting on a comfortable armchair with a beer, watching as Mizuki applied a tattoo to a girl's back.

"Well, I was allowed after I assured his grandma that I had nothing to do with Rhyme. It took me some insisting, too, but she can't strip Aoba of all his mates! The poor guy is bored to hell. And what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes! Are you visiting him?"

Noiz shook his head, pursing his lips.

"So… I get you are giving up on Aoba, then? Tsch! I'm disappointed on you, brat."

"What else I'm supposed to do? He doesn't remember me at all, and he doesn't even believe we were together!"

Mizuki glared at him for a moment, and then focused again on his task.

"I know you can't force yourself on him, but… I don't know, mate, it's not like if he had broken up with you. It was an accident, but he loved you, isn't it?"

Noiz shrugged. Aoba and he weren't the kind of people who said '_I love you_', but he was convinced that Aoba cared for him.

"Then, if I was you, I wouldn't let him go so easily."

Noiz felt frustrated and impotent.

"And what I am supposed to do, I repeat?"

"Try to get to him like a friend, perhaps… Look, tonight I have the night off and I have Tae's permission to take Aoba out to have a drink… She doesn't need to know that you are also coming, right?"

Noiz smiled.

"That sounds… fine, really."

"Just, you know… No Rhyme, no drugs, no getting plastered. Just some beers."

"…What time do we meet tonight?"

* * *

Noiz felt relieved when Aoba didn't object to his being there. They met at a bar, and as it was still early in the evening they were able to sit at the bar counter. Mizuki and Aoba were chattering lively when Noiz arrived, nervous. As the afternoon gave way to the evening, he started to feel more and more unsure about going out with them; it suddenly didn't seem a good idea, at all. But when the meeting hour had already passed, he stood up from his computer, changed clothes and left home without thinking. And there they were, Mizuki and his ex-boyfriend, who looked cute and made a bubble of hope appear inside Noiz' stomach when he smiled at him so sweetly. Then he turned to grin to Mizuki.

"So my supposed boyfriend is coming, too? Great! The more, the merrier."

Mizuki frowned at this and looked from Aoba to Noiz and back.

"So you were right after all… He doesn't believe it."

"I told you so", Noiz sighed, climbing up his high stool and ordering a beer.

"Aoba, I can confirm the two of you were in a relationship… You were even living together. How much time, Noiz?"

Aoba opened his mouth in shock, and stared at Noiz.

"Five months", the younger boy answered without looking at them. The mouth of his beer bottle seemed really interesting all of a sudden. But in the end, after a long awkward silence, he had to turn and look at Aoba, who had his lips pressed in a tight line and seemed about to start crying. "Hey, don't. Please."

"I… I can't remember a thing!" Aoba almost shouted, covering his mouth with a hand and closing his eyes, trying to regain control.

"It's not your fault, Aoba, relax", Mizuki said with a sad smile. "You need to let go some steam. Here, have a whisky shot… Better?"

Aoba wiped his chin of the trickle of liquor escaping through his lips and nodded. He seemed a bit more composed, but when he started to talk he avoided looking at Noiz.

"I can't understand what kind of person would date someone so young, but the more I hear about how I was before, the more embarrassed I feel…"

"Come on, you were a nice guy!" Mizuki exclaimed. "Well, perhaps I wouldn't describe you as 'nice', but I wouldn't say you were awful, either. You had good things, you were fun, and a little crazy, but in a nice way. And there's nothing to feel embarrassed about your relationship with Noiz, you two were very happy together. You just didn't mind about his age."

Noiz' chest hurt again, and he had half the mind to get up his stool and go back home.

"I don't know, I feel like if I was taking advantage of Noiz… And living together and all, that seems pretty established for me". He finally looked at the young boy, and at last he managed to give him a shy smile. "I'm really sorry, Noiz. All of this must be a nightmare for you, too, and I had no idea. Granny didn't say anything about you."

"She thinks it will be for the best if we two are apart", Noiz sighed.

Aoba tilted his head and frowned.

"Why?"

"Ask her", Noiz said, shrugging. He didn't understand why the old woman thought he was bad for his grandson, after all.

Mizuki changed topics to music, and the mood turned lighter, but Aoba seemed slightly absent, as if he were distracted by his thoughts. After a couple of beers and another whisky shot, Aoba finally made his mind and asked, his voice already slurring a bit because of the alcohol.

"Hey, I was thinking… If I lived in Noiz' apartment during the last months… perhaps if I go back there I will remember stuff."

Noiz felt his heart speed up in excitement. Mizuki laughed and clapped his friend's back.

"What a shitty alcohol resistance you have, the fuck! Alright, going to Noiz' place and playing videogames seems a nice plan B for me, what do you say, brat?" Noiz nodded, trying not to jump over Mizuki and hug Aoba. "OK, then, it's settled! Do you have any buzz at home? Then let's bring some beers."

And they did buy some beers at the bar and headed for Noiz' apartment. And although Noiz hadn't allowed himself to raise his hopes too high, it was all the same deeply painful to watch Aoba's reaction to his apartment, gushing about how modern and elegant it was, and about how Noiz kept it quite tidy and clean.

"Did you expect it to be a hogs' den?" Noiz deadpanned.

Aoba blushed.

"I haven't said that! But it's tidier than my bedroom, OK?"

Noiz hummed, nonchalantly, and showed him the rest of the apartment, expecting… expecting something. He even showed Aoba the few objects he had kept, items that were full of dear memories of their shared time: small gifts they had exchanged, Aoba's favourite jacket, the blue and orange one, so worn that he had stopped using it by Christmas, his Santa outfit as well. Aoba looked at him muttering his apologies, shaking his head with sad eyes, and Noiz' heart sank.

"Hey, I bet you have tons of pics of you two together in your coil", Mizuki suggested then, "why don't you show him?"

And the young man was already reaching for Noiz' coil; he moved his arm away as fast as he could, suddenly protective.

"Don't!" He noticed the shock in Aoba's eyes, and tried to explain his brusque act. "They are… they are mine. Perhaps another day."

Aoba blushed, imagining who knows what about the pics, and let the topic go, nodding in agreement. They ended playing Mizuki and Aoba's favourite videogames, and had quite fun until Aoba started to yawn and Mizuki stated it was rather late and he was going to walk Aoba home. Noiz said nothing. He watched them took their jackets and waved them goodbye.

When he was alone again, he flopped on his bed with the remains of his beer and went through the pics stored at his coil.

If Aoba had thought, perhaps, that they were intimate pics, he was right about a bunch of them, of course. But most of them were the regular pics that two people who live together and enjoy each other take: Aoba cooking, or trying to, wearing a long black apron and grinning to the camera, the two of them making funny faces at Mizuki's bar, Aoba sitting on the street floor and sulking, during a rest at a Rhyme match, Aoba and Noiz holding hands while talking to someone, completely oblivious of the camera… They were so normal. And although Noiz had been aware the whole time of how happy he was with the other boy by his side, he couldn't help to think that if he had known that such happiness could disappear in a snap, perhaps he would have seized more the time, he would have treasured it more. He finally fell asleep with a photo still open in a floating screen above his pillow. In it, Aoba looked at him resting his chin on his hand, lounging lazily in bed on a Sunday morning, and he looked so happy and calm and in peace with himself that he almost resembled that foreign Aoba who looked at him with wide, innocent eyes and didn't remember him.


	9. Chapter 9

Four days later, Noiz received a coil message when he had just arrived home. He had to read it a few times to make sure it was real.

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_Hi, are you busy? What about going for an icecream?_

An icecream. Noiz stared at the screen for a solid couple of minutes until he finally answered.

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_Why?_

Okay, it wasn't a great answer, but it was the first thing that came into his mind. The next message arrived barely a minute later.

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_Because today is rather hot? And I feel like having an icecream?_

Noiz clicked his tongue in annoyance.

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_But why with me?_

His heart had started pumping wildly, and Noiz didn't like it. He could almost see Aoba sighing when he read the next message:

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_It seems I don't have many friends. And why not with you?_

Frowning, Noiz typed another fast message on his coil, but this time for Mizuki.

_From: Noiz_

_To: Mizuki_

_Hey, Aoba has just asked me on a date. What the fuck should I tell him?_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Noiz_

_Really? Good for you!_

_From: Noiz_

_To: Mizuki_

_No, not good for me. What does he want?_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Noiz_

_Why don't you ask him?_

_From: Noiz_

_To: Mizuki_

_Can't do that._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_Hmmm… If you don't want to, it's ok, don't feel obligated._

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_Hold on for a sec._

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Aoba_

_Hi, Aoba! Why are you asking Noiz on a date?_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Noiz_

_He wouldn't shut up about you these last days… He's made a fucking lot of questions about you._

_From: Noiz_

_To: Mizuki_

_Great. So he's curious, fantastic. I still don't know what I should tell him._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Mizuki_

_What the hell? Has he told you? It wasn't a date!_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Aoba_

_What was it, then? Do you want to meet him?_

_From: Aoba_

_To: Mizuki_

_Well, yes. Do you think it's wrong?_

_From: Noiz_

_To: Mizuki_

_He is waiting for my answer, Mizuki… Say something!_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Aoba_

_If you don't give him false expectations it should be ok._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Mizuki_

_Of course, I only want to get to know him better, and be friends._

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Aoba_

_It sounds like more than a friendly interest to me…_

_From: Aoba_

_To: Mizuki_

_OK, I find him cute! Happy?_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Aoba_

_Ha! I knew!_

_From: Mizuki_

_To: Noiz_

_Tell him yes, Aoba needs some friends, it will be ok._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Mizuki_

_But don't tell him! You hear me?!_

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_In the mall in an hour, North door._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_OK_

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_By the way, are you talking with Mizuki right now? Don't pay attention to anything he says, he's such a troll!_

* * *

Noiz arrived to the only mall in the Old District exactly one hour later, with German punctuality. Compared to the ones in his hometown, or with the ones in the main island in Japan, that mall was outdated and shabby, but Noiz had always found it quaint. He knew he was bound to meet some of his school mates at the arcade or the burger, but he didn't mind. Ten minutes past the hour and still no sign of any blue haired guy. Noiz sighed, with a tiny smile. Clearly, some things would never change. But then he glimpsed a mop of blue running towards him, and _that_ was a change, especially when the owner of said mop of blue started to apologise profusely.

_Difference number 2 in Aoba: he would never apologise or even regret about being late._

_Or about almost anything, in fact_, Noiz thought.

"Hey, I've already apologised! Stop with that face, now!" Aoba exclaimed.

Noiz shrugged and started walking with long strides. Aoba hurried, trying to keep up the fast pace. He was still a little breathless because of the race to arrive there, and Noiz unrelenting pace wasn't helping. All of a sudden, the German boy stopped and couldn't see Aoba by his side. He looked back, searching, and saw him some ten meters behind, breathing hard leaning forward, with his hands resting on his knees. Noiz approached him.

"You right?"

Aoba raised a hand to ask for time, and a moment later he straightened up, still breathing deeply.

"I am now. Just… Is there fire or something? There's no need to walk so fast, relax!"

Noiz shrugged, and turned to keep walking. This time, though, he waited until Aoba was by his side.

"…And where exactly are we going? You haven't even asked where I want to go!" Aoba complained.

Noiz glanced at him, raising an eyebrow.

"…You said you wanted an icecream."

"Right."

"Then there's only a place in the mall. You like the icecream parlour in the second floor, Dino's."

Noiz had to look away. His Aoba had always had an expressive face, with those golden eyes that opened wide in surprise, sparkled with amusement o flamed with warmth. Looking at this Aoba was like being with a twin of his boyfriend, because his features showed completely different reactions; everything seemed wrong and out of place. But still it was a painful sight when those beloved features showed discomfort and uneasiness… as he was doing right then. As they climbed the stairs in an awkward silence, he wondered how he could distract the young man.

"You don't have a favourite flavour, though, so you will have to decide on your own."

"I don't have one?" Aoba frowned. "I remember when I was a child my favourite flavour was strawberry."

"Well, in Dino's you always try a different flavour each time. They also have the 'flavour of the week', so it's never boring."

Aoba smiled.

"Ha! Then I'll try that one!"

It took them a good ten minutes to decide; Dino's offer of flavours was certainly wide, and Aoba wanted to taste all of them. Noiz asked his usual lemon icecream with caramel toping, and chuckled at the naivety of his companion.

"Don't mock me, brat! I can't remember what I like and what I don't, so of course I have to taste them all before picking!"

He finally opted by a cheesecake icecream with blueberries sauce and flopped on a parlour chair with a big satisfied smile. Noiz sat on the closest chair and studied Aoba with a tiny grin.

"You know", he said, "before I came here with you for the first time, I hadn't tasted any icecream flavour but chocolate and vanilla: the ones my mother always bought at home."

"You didn't go to icecream parlours in Germany?"

"I didn't go out much in Germany". That was a big understatement; saying he barely left his bedroom in years would be more accurate. But he didn't want to talk about his fucked up family and how they thought he was a monster because he couldn't feel pain and tried to injure himself again and again. He wouldn't talk about something so personal with this almost stranger; in fact he hadn't given many ugly details to his boyfriend either. But the way this Aoba was watching him, with curiosity and also concern in his eyes, made him want to open up and tell him more. He restrained himself and said no more, his eyes focused on his icecream.

"Whoa, this is awesome!" Aoba exclaimed at last, breaking the silence. "We should come in the summer, like everyday, and taste every single flavour!"

Noiz turned to look at him, shocked. Three or four different emotions were clashing inside of him, and he didn't know how to react. He hated feeling like this. What was this Aoba playing at? _Okay, cards up, it's about time_, he thought.

"Aoba, why did you want to meet me today?"

Aoba looked away, shyly, and just shrugged, putting a stray lock of hair behind his ear. Noiz knew Aoba always played with his hair when he was uneasy. Huffing, he tried to reformulate the question.

"You know what kind of relationship we had before, and that I am trying to cope with losing you, and you still have wanted to see me. Why?"

Aoba blushed, in a delicate and rather cute way, and Noiz had to stop his hand from going to brush that reddened cheek. Aoba looked at him, serious, with that honest and trustworthy face of his current self, and Noiz felt a little lost, even before the other guy started talking.

"I know more about you now", Aoba said. "I have asked Tae and Mizuki about you, and more or less I know how our relationship was. Tae doesn't think it was very serious, with the two of us being that young, but I know better. If I was really as reckless and an asshole as everybody says I was… then if I decided to hole up with you it means that, at least for me, it was something special. And if you had the patience to put up with me… well, then I suppose it was serious for you, too."

Noiz stared at him in silence. Aoba sighed, annoyed, and looked away again.

"You know, I don't have a clue about what you are thinking. It's really frustrating."

Noiz chuckled.

"You said so more than once."

Aoba glanced at him again, wearing a tiny smile.

"I did? Well, what a relief! Something that is not new!"

"But you haven't answered. Is this all? You wanted to let me know you acknowledge our previous relationship?"

The young man looked nervous again and started twisting one end of his ponytail. He avoided Noiz' eyes, studying the table.

"No… After all the things Mizuki and Tae have told me about you… the fact that you are living on your own and all… well, I somehow want to take care of you." He chuckled without humour, still not daring to look at Noiz. "Seems like a joke, isn't it? I'm not able to take care of myself right now, and I want to take care of another person… Especially a person like you, who are able to do well in their studies and at the same time earn money and keep an apartment comfortable enough… How could I help you? Not that I can give you anything you need, except company…"

Aoba deemed it was a good moment to finally look at Noiz again. The German boy had his usual poker face, but his hands were fisted tightly, the only outlet of his emotions. Noiz was having a rough time trying to cope right then.

"…You are wrong", he muttered at last, so softly that the sound barely arrived to Aoba.

"What?"

"I said, you are wrong", Noiz repeated more firmly. "You are wrong if you think the only thing you provided me all this time was company."

And suddenly it was all too much, and everything was wrong, and Noiz knew that if he was able to cry, he would be sobbing bitterly right then. He whispered a "sorry, I have to go, thank you for the invite" and turned to go, almost running in his haste to arrive outdoors. Once there, he rubbed his temples, still feeling that lump in his throat, choking him.

Because he could never explain Aoba what he had meant for him since he arrived to the island, since they met at that coffee shop. It wasn't company what Aoba had provided, but a new world full of colours crashing with his narrow world in black and white. From the loneliness of his room in Germany to his school and Rhyme acquaintances in Midorijima, everything had been empty, emotionless, turning him into something alike a ghost passing by the streets, without affecting anyone and without letting anyone affect him. Until Aoba arrived. It didn't matter that his colours were blues and greys, it was way more of what he had before, and he would have gladly put up with the other guy's demons for the rest of his days in exchange of the warmth and the light he provided. But it was impossible to make understand all of that to that different Aoba. Some things you can only understand when you have lived them. And the Aoba who had lived them, the one who could have understood, had vanished, never to return.

* * *

After that day, Noiz had half a mind to not seeing Aoba again. He would finish the school year and then decide what he wanted to do. Meanwhile, he focused on Rhyme, spending time with his mates and making money. That was important, the rest was only meaningless details.

But the next week he got a new message from Aoba.

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_Hi! I'm trying to find a job, but I can't remember my curriculum vitae details, and Tae is no help. Could you lend me a hand?_

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_I have a copy of your cv in my computer, I'm sending it to you via coil._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_Thank you! :D You have saved my ass!_

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_No problem._

It was something practical, so it was alright, Noiz thought. But unconsciously he started to check the daily job offers, as he did by routine some months ago. Sometimes, if he found something that might suit Aoba, he sent a copy of the offer his way, but without any personal message attached, and Aoba would answer with just a 'thank you'.

Not that Aoba left the communication at that. He tried to meet with him again some days later, but Noiz refused, telling he had a lot of school tasks piling up. He insisted some more, perhaps twice a week the first month, and then only once a week. Noiz usually frowned at seeing the invite, but his heart still started to race with every message. He was determined to cope with his loneliness and let Aoba slide from his life for good. This, until the day he usually got a text from Aoba arrived and went away, and his coil remained silent. The next day he stared at the damned device the whole day, but still no news from Aoba. _He has given up_, he thought. And it was for the best, right? _Right._ He found himself writing a text during dinner time.

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_Hey, how are you doing?_

The answer came less than a minute later.

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_I'm OK, but I didn't want to bother you._

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_I'm sorry to be a dickhead to you. If you want to meet for a beer, it would be fine._

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_Not in the mood of going to a bar. What about playing videogames at your place?_

Noiz' heart threatened to escape through his throat, but he managed to answer.

_From: Noiz_

_To: Aoba_

_Sure thing. You remember the address, right? Come when you want._

And he started to tidy up the apartment in a hurry, feeling like an idiot. Why was he nervous? Aoba had already been there, there wasn't any need to impress that stupid guy. And then he stopped in his tracks as he suddenly realised he wasn't nervous because he was going to see his ex-boyfriend. He was nervous because of that new Aoba, that twin of sorts of his missed partner. The thought made uneasiness creep up his limbs, and when Aoba arrived that's how he found him, sitting on the couch with an inexpressive mask of a face and without the strength to move or react in any way.

"Hey, are you alright?" Aoba asked with concern.

"…Fine."

So he played a couple of videogames, the ones Aoba had always preferred. But of course this Aoba couldn't remember, and he wasn't as good as he should have been, so Noiz kicked his ass in every match. In the end the older guy sighed and leaned back on the couch, with a defeated pout.

"And you said I was good at this game? I'm completely rubbish!"

"He! There came my rematch!" Noiz smiled.

Noiz studied Aoba's profile with fondness, feeling a rush of affection. For an instant, it had been like if he was playing with his Aoba, but at the same time the differences weren't painful and full of sorrow like they had previously been. He guessed he was starting to like the features this new Aoba sported, his gentleness and quiet humour, his naivety. And how adorable he looked while flushed and pouting.

"Hey, Noiz, explain me how we met", Aoba prompted.

And Noiz did, smiling. At the end he added:

"There's a 'staff wanted' poster at the coffee shop; you should go and apply for it."

"What? After what you have told me? No way! I bet the manager hates me!"

"But you made delicious lattes! He only complained about how rude you were to customers, and I bet you wouldn't be like that now."

Aoba nodded, uncertain.

"You know what?" Noiz offered. "I will go to the coffee shop and test the waters before you go there with your cv. What do you think?"

"That would be… great, actually", Aoba said with a relieved smile. "Thank you, Noiz, I really need a job. And it seems every single shop in Midorijima knows about me and refuses to give me a chance."

It was rather late for a weekday, so they decided it was enough for the day. Aoba lingered at the door in front of Noiz, avoiding his eyes, and in the long awkward silence that none of them dared to break Noiz wondered if Aoba was expecting a goodbye kiss from him, or if he was trying to muster enough courage to lean forward and kiss Noiz himself. In the end, a blushing Aoba just turned away and waved him goodbye, and Noiz closed the door and rested his forehead against it for a while, confused.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, after school, Noiz passed by the coffee shop where he had met Aoba a year and a half ago. The "Staff wanted" poster was still on the door, luckily. He stepped in and headed right to the manager, who had the same whiny air he remembered. In fact, everything in the shop was unchanged.

"Have you come for the vacancy?", the man asked Noiz at once, weighing him. "I'm sorry, but I need a full time person, so I don't think it will suit a student".

"It's not for me", Noiz stated. And with a little hesitance, he asked: "Do you remember Aoba?"

The man huffed.

"Of course I remember that good for nothing! Why? What has he done now?"

"Well… He had an accident of sorts about three months ago."

The man's face fell.

"Oh, God. Don't tell me…? How is he?"

"He's okay, in fact. But he has amnesia…"

"Amnesia?" the manager cut him. "That's horrible!"

"Yes… He's changed a lot. He doesn't drink or go out at nights any more, and he's trying to behave and start over again, but it's being hard, because nobody wants to give him a chance."

The fat man seemed to think about it for a while.

"And you are asking me to hire him again? I don't know, boy…"

"He will have to learn again, of course", Noiz insisted quickly, seeing how the man was softening. "But he will try hard, you know he is efficient, and his mood has improved a lot. He won't give you any problem now, I can swear."

"Ha! Perhaps you have too much faith in Aoba! But alright, I will take it into account. I can't promise anything, keep that in mind."

Noiz bowed lightly, as they had taught him in school to do to show respect, and thanked the man.

The next morning he got a coil text from Aoba:

_From: Aoba_

_To: Noiz_

_Yay! I have the job at the coffee shop! Thank you very much, I know it's all your doing!_

Noiz smiled and replied with a smiley icon.

He was almost nervous when he came back to the coffee shop the next afternoon. He remembered that at that early hour the shop would be almost empty, and he was right. There was only a couple, sitting at a table in a corner, and a very busy Aoba reading a handbook and practising with the coffee machine. Noiz approached the counter, grinning widely.

"Hi."

Aoba jumped, startled, and Noiz chuckled. The older boy looked as cute as he remembered with his polo and his long black apron, and his big surprised eyes just added to the effect. Aoba's face lit up at seeing his new customer.

"Noiz! I should have guessed you would appear today! Thank you very much again!"

Noiz shook his head, smiling warmly.

"It's nothing. Just try to be more responsible this time and everything will be okay."

"Of course! I want to keep this job, this place is really nice! So, what would you like to have?"

"A small latte."

Noiz watched as Aoba made his hot drink, slower that he used to be, and with clumsy movements. But his cardboard mug looked alright, at least, and Aoba was funny to watch as he struggled with the till. At last he managed to take Noiz' money and give him his change. Then he gazed at Noiz with a tiny smile.

"I know, I'm rubbish at this, too. Don't look at me that way."

"What way?"

Aoba shrugged, looking away with a slight blush on his cheeks, but keeping the smile in place.

"I don't know. Do you think… Do you think I look okay here? I mean, do I look as if I fit?"

"Sure. Just…"

"What?"

Noiz had meant to avoid saying that, but he couldn't help it.

"You should braid your hair, it would look neater."

Aoba passed a hand through his long bangs.

"Oh, do you think so? Perhaps you are right."

"Well, I'll go to a table, then. See you!"

And certainly, Noiz should have guessed the effect that seeing Aoba the next day would have on him, with his uniform, behind the counter and with his hair tied up in a braid, looking exactly like the first time he had met him. He felt a sudden rush of nostalgia, so strong that he wasn't able to speak for some minutes. Aoba stared at him with concern.

"What's wrong, are you feeling alright, Noiz?" Then he seemed to realise something, and the concern fell from his face, turning serious but composed. "Noiz… If seeing me so alike the Aoba I used to be gives you a painful reminiscence, you should have told me."

That insight surprised Noiz. He wouldn't have expected it from his Aoba, but it was obvious this new one could read people better and had a big deal of empathy. He shrugged, trying to play it down.

"It doesn't matter".

But it did, of course, and Noiz couldn't take that image of Aoba off his mind. It made him feel confused. His memories seemed to blur and blend all together, and he found himself spacing out at school more often than not. Damned Aoba and the effect he had on him.

In the end, he retook his routine of popping by the coffee shop every day after school, before going home. Then he would study, have dinner, study a little more, and afterwards he would pass by Mizuki's bar on his way to the Rhyme playground of the day. At the same time, Aoba started his own habit of going to Mizuki's to have a drink in the evenings, too, so soon Noiz was seeing him at work and also out of work, surrounded by easygoing ribsters, friends of Mizuki who barely knew him before the accident and were attracted to his new friendly and likeable nature. He seemed at ease at the coffee shop after a couple of days, too, and in general he looked happier and quite adapted to his new life. Noiz felt relieved and happy for him, of course, but tried to keep his visits short and their interactions still shorter.

One evening, Mizuki approached him at the bar.

"Hey, Noiz! How is everything going?"

The bar was quite full, but most people were standing with their drinks or seated at the tables, so the counter area was quiet.

"Fine, I guess."

"Ah… And how are things with Aoba? Still awkward?"

Noiz sighed and sipped from his beer.

"It's difficult. Nothing that I could explain to you, though, too complicated…" Suddenly, realisation hit him and planted his beer on the counter, frowning. "Hold on! Aoba has asked you to talk to me, isn't it?"

Mizuki laughed, obviously caught red handed.

"Don't get mad at me, brat! I just hate to see the two of you like this."

"Like what?"

Noiz' frown turned deeper.

"You know, stealing glances at each other and looking sad."

_Enough of this_, Noiz thought, feeling again that familiar lump inside his throat. He needed to go out and get some fresh air; why was that bar so hot anyway?

"Look… You know what? Just tell him I'm not interested in _any kind_ of relationship right now, in case he is wondering. It's too fucking soon for me, get it?"

Mizuki nodded, serious.

"I'm sorry, Noiz. All of this is so fucked."

"Yeah, I know", the younger guy said, already at the door.

He tried not to slam the door when he left and not to look back at Aoba, who was talking lively with some other guys. He half succeeded at both tasks.

But the next weekend was Noiz' birthday, and when he stepped in Mizuki's place, a small crowd shouted "Surprise!" to him, and to add to his surprise there were even some members of his Rhyme team gathered there, in the heart of a Rib territory. But they weren't arguing or fighting each other, so everything seemed alright. Mizuki had hanged a "Happy birthday" banner on the wall, behind the bar counter, and everybody had a cup of party punch in their hands. He felt awkward at first, but he tried to accommodate to the festive mood, and let his friends put him a party hat on his head and a punch on his hand. It was a sweet but strong beverage. Good. He approached the counter and Mizuki took the chance of patting his back in earnest (more like _clapping, slamming_ his back), showing a bright grin.

"So our brat is already sixteen! You have turned a big boy, too, you know? Are you doing weights? It suits you, you were so skinny before."

He had picked the habit, in fact, as another way of helping him to sleep those last months. He looked at his reflection at the wall mirror behind the bottles: he was as tall as Mizuki, and his shoulders were at least as broad as his, too, that was true. His face was still smooth, except for a little fuzz on his jaw that appeared from time to time. Then he caught a blue shadow behind his reflection, and turned to look at him directly.

Aoba was watching him from the other side of the crowded bar. At seeing him looking, he offered a faint smile and waved him. But when Noiz started to come closer, Aoba looked away, blushing, and joined a group, giving Noiz his back. The younger boy was confused; then he remembered his latest conversation with Mizuki and smacked his lips in annoyance. He decided to join his Ruff Rabbit's mates and try to have fun.

He didn't know what liquors had made their way into the punch, but the resulting beverage was certainly heady. Before he could notice (only two or three cups into the punch), his mind was deliciously numb. It wasn't a state he usually enjoyed, but hey, it was his birthday anyway, and he didn't have to go to school or wake up early the next day. And he could stare at Aoba at his pleasure without feeling guilty or awkward or anything but fine. The older boy's face was red due to the heat and the alcohol, if the cup of punch in his hand was to be taken into account, and Noiz betted he was feeling at least as tipsy as Noiz himself, if not more. After more than an hour of watching each other from afar, Noiz approached Aoba at last. He was leaning over the counter, laughing at some joke from Mizuki and another guy, but when he noticed Noiz he turned serious all of a sudden and straightened up. The look of his face reminded Noiz of a deer caught in front of a pair of car lights, and he couldn't avoid grinning.

"Hey. You have been staring at me all the evening."

Aoba blushed even harder, if that was possible, with even his ears completely red by now.

"You are the one who has been staring all the time, brat! Leave me alone!"

Noiz' fingers moved on his own, reaching for Aoba's warm and soft waist.

"Are you sure you want me to leave you alone?" Noiz's voice went out as a teasing whisper, and he could feel Aoba shivering. He couldn't take his eyes off Aoba's inviting lips.

Then Mizuki intervened, grabbing the two of them by the shoulder.

"Hey, hey! Lend me a hand, do you mind? There's something in the back shop I need help with, to carry it here."

"Mizuki…" Noiz tried to complain.

"Come on, it will be just a minute."

The back shop was in fact a small loft on top of a narrow and straight staircase, and up they climbed. Noiz looked around, curious, because he had never been there before. He expected a storeroom, but it was in fact a small space with a couch, a tv and some cupboards. He turned to look at Mizuki, puzzled.

"What…?"

"I thought you guys needed a bit of alone time to sort things out… Good luck with that!"

And he had the gall to disappear stairs down again with a smirk.

Aoba flopped on the couch with a loud sigh.

"What a busybody!" he exclaimed, but then he gazed at Noiz with a serious and determined face. "But in fact he was right, isn't it? Come and sit down with me."

And although his mind was screaming at Noiz that that was a really bad idea, his instincts kicked in and he complied before he even noticed what he was doing. Close up, Aoba's hazel eyes seemed still more full of determination, and his parted lips were begging to be kissed. Noiz did so, drowning in Aoba's heat.

He couldn't believe how much he had missed this, caressing his lips with his tongue, sharing his saliva and letting his hands wander by his soft locks and his warm and inviting skin, even over his clothes. He couldn't stop, not even to breathe, and he thought if he died right then, choked, it would be a really satisfying death.

And while he kissed Aoba's reddened cheeks and run a finger through his jaw, Noiz thought how his Aoba would have come to kiss him from across the room without the shadow of a doubt, with a lopsided grin on his face and a hungry glint on his beautiful golden eyes. _Difference number three in Aoba: he is shy._ But it was really endearing, really attractive, the way he had avoided his eyes and blushed every time he had caught Noiz staring at him, and the way he reacted when Noiz was about to kiss him down at the bar had turned Noiz on badly.

And right then, with Aoba sucking on his tongue with a rivulet of saliva running down his chin, and his hands grabbing tightly the front of Noiz' shirt, right then, Noiz realised he was again comparing Aoba, this Aoba, with the man he used to be, the one Noiz loved, and that he was going to keep comparing them his whole life. That thought hurt, and sobered him, and he had to put some space between Aoba and himself because of the sudden pain on his chest. He stood up from the couch and almost ran to the stairs.

"Noiz! Wait, what happens?"

Noiz fisted his hands. Aoba needed an explanation, he couldn't escape like that, without a word. He forced himself to turn and face him. Aoba looked cute with his mouth all red and wet and his hair so dishevelled, and Noiz smiled sadly at the thought that it had been him who had put Aoba into such a messy state.

"I'm sorry, Aoba, but I can't. I need more than this."

The young man looked away in embarrassment.

"I can't remember doing it, but…" he mumbled. "I guess I can try."

He seemed so vulnerable that Noiz had to hurry to go to his side and grasp his hands.

"No… I'm not talking about sex… If I was with you, I would need everything from you, everything."

Aoba looked lost.

"Let's try, then, Noiz. I want to try, I want to take care of you."

"No!"

Noiz let go of Aoba's hands and turned to hide his face.

"I need you to be him", he whispered, his words hurting himself even deeper.

He climbed down the stairs as fast as he could, unable to face Aoba's reaction. _I'm hurting him, I am the worst_, he thought, running away from the bar and his mates. He walked for hours, losing himself in the town's darkest streets and alleys, feeling awful, and he had never needed to cry as much as that night.


	11. Chapter 11

Noiz passed the rest of the weekend studying kanjis and improving his betting website: from then on, he wouldn't need to go and fetch the money in person; the system would pay and collect the bets directly through the coil details of the bettors. He really should have thought before about doing that, it was simpler. And having an updated and flashy website was cool. Not to mention how useful it was having something to be focused on.

On Monday afternoon he went back home right after school, and that evening he also avoided Mizuki's place. He needed really badly to play Rhyme, he needed the physical pain. He wanted to feel shrouded in pain, to scream at the top of his lungs. But in the end he beat his opponent too soon, and afterwards he still felt frustrated and moody. For the first time in many months, he got himself into a fist fight, using a trifle as an excuse. He let the other guy land blow after blow, until the boy got scared at the lack of response and ran away, but it still wasn't enough. The only things Noiz could feel were the blood running through his nose and down his eyebrow, and a feeble nuisance on his left side, but the pain was a barely there feeling, something intangible. Always out of reach.

_I always want what is out of reach, what I can't have_, he thought. He wanted a physical pain that muffled the ache of his feelings, but it seemed that he couldn't have that. The same way that he couldn't have Aoba.

On his way home, while rubbing distractedly his injuries with a tissue, he reflected on how he had always hated having to treat his own wounds, although he had almost enjoyed taking care of Aoba's ones. He mourned his restless boyfriend once again, but almost immediately he moved on to the thought of how cruel he had been to Aoba last weekend. Because it was true that the Aoba he had loved so much was gone, never to return, but a part of him still lived. The post-accident Aoba wasn't entirely a new person, and the features of him that were different… Well, Noiz couldn't deny the way he felt about him any more. And to think that this new Aoba had liked him almost from the start, as the old one… Wasn't that an evidence of the fact that they should be together? Noiz sighed, claiming defeat. He felt like a stupid right then, like a spoiled brat. The young man had done nothing wrong, and had endured a lot and Noiz, instead of helping him, was making him feel awful.

With all of this in mind, he passed by the coffee shop the next day after school. He had really missed this part of his daily routine the previous day, to be honest, but as eager as he was to see Aoba, he couldn't help to be slightly nervous when he saw the other man reacting at noticing him: Aoba paled, and started to play with his hair ends. When he reached the counter, Noiz looked him over and smiled warmly. At least he was finally sure that he was doing the right thing. Although he wished he was as sure about how Aoba would answer.

"Hi", he greeted the barista.

Aoba glanced at him, very serious, and Noiz was gladly surprised to see that he was wearing that determined look again. Aoba could look weak, but he was nothing of the sort; Noiz felt proud of him in those moments.

"I thought you weren't coming back", Aoba said, right to the point. "You didn't come yesterday."

"I needed to think", Noiz whispered.

"Fine. I hope it worked; the thinking, I mean."

"It certainly did". Noiz leaned onwards, resting his elbows and forearms on the counter and almost touching Aoba, who didn't move. "Look, I was a total prick last Friday. What I said… it sounded like if you weren't enough, and it's not that, at all." Aoba said nothing, but raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You are perfect as you are, Aoba, and I've been a stupid brat for trying to look for things that just aren't there any more."

Aoba's gaze fell downward, with a sad look.

"I can understand how you feel, though", Aoba said softly. "It must have been hard for you, too; I suppose it still is. You have lost someone and I can't replace him."

"You don't need to". Noiz finally took one of Aoba's hands between his and started caressing it with his thumb. "There's no need to. I would be very honoured if you still will have me."

Aoba seemed a bit shocked, but after a moment a tiny smile of relief lighted his features. Then he noticed the small queue that was forming behind Noiz, and retrieved his hand with embarrassment.

"Let's… Let's talk this evening, okay?" Noiz chuckled and straightened up, nodding. "A small latte. Right away!"

The mood that evening at the tattoo parlour was completely different from the last weekend. It was a Monday, so apart from them there were only two people drinking at the bar while waiting his turn for a tattoo. Mizuki was busy in the parlour, and the one who attended the bar was his colleague. Aoba was already there when Noiz arrived. He greeted the other guys (he remembered them vaguely from previous times at the bar) and sat down close to Aoba, smiling at him. The blue haired boy smiled back, even though it was pretty obvious how nervous he was.

"You look nervous", Noiz stated. "Did you think I wasn't coming?"

Aoba shrugged.

"With you I can't never know anything. I didn't expect you to come this morning to the shop, in fact; it took me by surprise."

"Well, looking at it now", Noiz said, grinning, "perhaps it wasn't the best idea. I should have come here to speak to you, instead of embarrassing you in your place of work."

Aoba blushed slightly, and Noiz wanted nothing more than kiss him, so that's exactly what he did: he leaned forwards and brushed his lips against Aoba's, without lingering. His reaction was immediate.

"Noiz!"

Aoba was as red as a ladybug, and covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes flying to the other customers in the shop. Noiz laughed at him and shook his head. _Definitely different from before, _he thought_. But so cute._

"Not in public, alright? I don't care if before it was alright for me, but I… I don't feel comfortable now."

Noiz hurried to assure him that it was perfectly alright, still grinning. But after some hesitance Aoba reached for his hand and held it, still flushed.

"And what if… What if in the end I recover my memories, or if my other personality simply comes back one day?"

"That's what is bothering you? Well, for my part it doesn't matter, I like every possible part of you. We will sort it out together if it ever happens, alright?"

Aoba nodded, clearly relieved, and squeezed his hand with a whispered "_thank you, Noiz_". Then Mizuki popped his head out the screen that separated the tattoo parlour from the bar, and smiled brightly at them.

"I knew I had heard your voices, mates!" He pointed with his chin to their linked hands and exclaimed. "So you two are finally a thing again? About time! Hey, hey, guys, over there! Congratulate the happy couple and have a beer for their sake, it's on the house!"

Aoba groaned and hid his face behind his hands, while Noiz laughed loudly and accepted the congratulations and the pats on the back.

After an hour or so, Noiz paid and said he had to get going. Aoba stood from his stool, serious, and made to follow him.

"Are you going to fight me in Rhyme, at last?" Noiz smirked. "I never got to play against you, you know?"

"Skip Rhyme tonight". Aoba was staring at him with that strong determination lighting his features. Noiz felt that it was going to be difficult to refuse anything to Aoba when he was looking at him that way. "You said the other night that you needed everything from me. I want to give you everything."

Noiz joined the dots and gulped, suddenly overwhelmed. He took Aoba's hand in his and kissed it, his eyes fixed on those hazel pupils.

"Let's go home."

They arrived Noiz' apartment (_our apartment_, he corrected himself mentally) after a short walk. They were mostly silent during the journey, but it was a companionable silence and not an awkward one, enjoying the warmth of their joined hands and the close presence of the other. Once in the apartment, Noiz offered Aoba something to drink and kissed him lightly before the young man started to feel too nervous again. The soft kisses in the kitchen area started to turn deeper after a moment, and Aoba drank his glass of water in a gulp and let Noiz take his hand and led him to the bedroom.

Noiz caressed Aoba's cheek once more and looked him in the eye.

"You don't have to go all the way, we can just fool around. Whatever you wish, I don't want you to feel forced or go faster than you would". _Although I will need a cold shower and a pair of wanks if you decide to stop here_, he thought.

None of them seemed to be able to stop touching the other, though. It was as if someone had opened the gates of a dam and they were caught in the stream.

"I'm sure", Aoba assured between kisses. "It's just… I'm a bit nervous. I can't remember having done it… any part of it."

Noiz chuckled, sliding his hands under Aoba's t-shirt and feeling his soft skin with a shudder of anticipation.

"So I get to be your first? Wow, it's an honour!"

He guided Aoba to a horizontal position on the bed and raised his t-shirt a little more, trying to strip him from that garment. Aoba clenched his teeth and grasped the fabric, avoiding it. Noiz giggled at his offended look.

"Why I have to be the first one to get naked?" Aoba complained. "It's a little embarrassing."

"Don't get mad, I'll turn the light off."

Noiz switched off the ceiling light and turned on the small lamp on his study desk. The atmosphere was much better that way, more intimate, with the golden light blurring the outline of Aoba's body while accentuating some of his features. His eyes. His lips. The taut surface of his chest and stomach. Noiz joined him again on the bed and kissed his jaw.

"Is that better?" he asked.

And with those words his own t-shirt went flying across the room. Aoba opened his eyes wide, his pupils dark and huge, and his hands ran to touch the new expanses of bare skin within his reach. Noiz allowed him to explore his body at his leisure, dreading the moment when he would have to explain his inability again.

"You are all bruised", Aoba commented, his voice full of concern. "I thought it was only your face. Doesn't it hurt when I touch you?"

Noiz shook his head; he had already forgotten the fight from the previous night. Aoba stopped prodding his bruised area and looked him right into his eyes.

"You don't feel the pain. Do you feel something when I touch you, then?"

Noiz took his hand and kissed the back of it.

"Just a bit. Almost nothing."

"How did we have sex before, then?" Aoba seemed a bit alarmed.

"Don't fret… Some parts of my body are quite sensitive. My mouth, especially. And to a lesser extent, my dick. So we never had a problem with it. Just relax, babe."

The endearing name escaped from his lips without his noticing, and when he did notice in fact he thought that it suited Aoba right then, too. He started to lift again his t-shirt, dragging his lips across the bare skin, and this time Aoba complied and took it off, passing it through his head and tossing it onto the floor. His long hair rearranged itself, floating in the air and then spreading on top of the pillow, blue over white, and Noiz' breath caught in his throat. To cover it and avoid an awkward stare, he leaned again and started kissing his neck, going down his collarbone and his shoulders.

He remembered exactly how Aoba liked it, slow kisses and caresses, a burning build-up until the two of them were about to explode and couldn't hold it anymore. After all those months, his emotions were threatening to explode before his body would. He couldn't understand how he had been able to survive without this, seeing Aoba within reaching distance but unable to hold him. Aoba was back to his side, and to hell with differences or loss memory or whatever; Noiz understood right then, while slowly preparing his boyfriend's hole, that Aoba was one and unique, and every little nuance in him should be just accepted and cherished. He worked him with fingers, lips and tongue until Aoba was begging to be filled, melted like undulating mercury under him. His laboured breath came out like muffled sobs when Noiz finally entered him, but his body recognised him and accepted him at once. The sobs turned moans and whispers of "_Noiz_" and "_Oh! There!_" and Noiz reassured Aoba telling him how gorgeous he was and how good it felt for him. When he picked his pace, a lonely tear started to roll down Aoba's cheek as he grabbed Noiz' neck almost desperately, and suddenly, just a moment before Aoba closed his eyes and threw his head back to cry out in pleasure, Noiz would swear that he could see a familiar golden glint in those eyes. He joined Aoba in his peek while mumbling reassuring words on his ear:

"It's going to be alright, babe. I'm here. I have you."

They rested for some minutes like that, with his limbs entwined and covered in their mixed sweat. Suddenly Noiz realised that it was the first time ever he had had sex without protection. Looking at Aoba right then, flushed and tousled hair and all, he decided it was alright; Aoba surely had gone through all kind of tests at the hospital given his history, so perhaps it was about time. And there was something naughty and hot at the sight of the trickle of come going down his boyfriend's inner thigh, he decided with a tired grin. And the pout of Aoba's face when he noticed it was priceless.

"Stop laughing, you idiot!"

"Here you are!" Noiz said, still laughing, and threw him a packet of tissues.

Once more or less cleaned, Aoba found a comfortable place on top of Noiz' chest and shoulder, and Noiz sighed at the familiarity of the feeling.

"It's been amazing, Noiz", Aoba whispered softly. "You have been amazing. I love you."

"Say that again?"

Noiz took Aoba's head between his hands and lifted it, in order to look into his eyes. Aoba smiled warmly, and the smile reached his eyes and lit them.

"I said: I love you. But you surely knew by now…"

"I knew, but this is the first time I hear it from your lips."

Aoba was clearly startled.

"Really? Well…" he smiled again after a pause. "I'm glad to finally do something for you for the first time".

He raised a little his body to kiss Noiz on the mouth. Then he looked away and bit his lower lip.

"You… don't need to say it if you don't feel like it, it's okay, I understand."

"What? Oh! Sorry, I was… too surprised to react. And I'm not the kind of person who says it very often… or ever, in fact, but I do love you too". He leaned to kiss Aoba again. "I love you so much".

In fact, he felt as if he had taken a weight off at saying it aloud at last. It didn't sound as cheesy as he thought it would. Not at all.

After a short silence, Aoba moved away to put some music on his coil.

"Hmmm… Your taste in music is still awful", Noiz complained with a grin.

"What's wrong with Goatbed?"

"Nothing, but not in the mood. There's lots of music on my coil, search for something you like."

Aoba took Noiz' coil from the night table and selected a playlist, at which Noiz hummed in agreement. But instead of returning the coil, Aoba kept snooping at the contents of the device.

"Noiz…" he asked with concern in his voice.

Noiz lifted his head and turned it to see what Aoba was looking at. It was the pictures gallery. Noiz gazed at Aoba and nodded. He sat up and passed a leg around his boyfriend's back, embracing him. They went through the pictures together. Most of them, they simply watched them in silence, but some elicited a question from Aoba. Noiz really couldn't imagine what it would be, to look at photographs of a previous you who you can't even recognise.

"Oh! Did I smoke?"

"Just sometimes."

"Did you like it?"

Noiz shrugged.

"I didn't mind". In fact, he found it sexy, but he would never say that aloud.

"…I cooked? That's a surprise!"

"Well, you were learning, and you enjoyed it a lot."

"Really? Granny always cooks for us, so I have never tried."

He studied Aoba's reactions. He was taken aback by some pictures, laughed or smiled at others, asked about people who appeared in a photograph, passed as fast as he could at the racy ones. He then came back to those last ones, making Noiz laugh. He finally stopped at a picture of himself lounging in bed in the morning, the one Noiz had fell asleep with, his favourite one. Aoba raised a finger and touched his face on the screen, and Noiz could swear that the two of them, the real one and the image, were the same person without a hint of a doubt.

"You didn't need to say you love me", Aoba whispered at last. "It's clear as daylight in these pictures, Noiz."

The younger boy squeezed his middle and wiped the burning tears that were starting to form in Aoba's eyes.

"Ssssshh…" he mumbled. "It's alright, you always feel emotional after sex. You can cry if you need to."

"…Noiz!"

Aoba turned his whole body to face Noiz and held him, fiery. The boy stroked Aoba's long hair, smiling, feeling happy and at home after that hell of the last months. Everything was at its right place again, and he would fight if needed to keep it like that.


	12. Chapter 12

Aoba moved back to Noiz' apartment as soon as he gathered the courage to tell his grandmother about their situation. He insisted on doing it alone, because he thought Tae would take it better if there were only the two of them talking, but Noiz had to face Tae anyway a couple of days later, when he went to help Aoba with all his stuff.

The old woman stayed apart, growling softly. Noiz approached her.

"Thank you for taking care so well of Aoba", he said, bowing lightly. "You did a great work, he is really recovered now. You were right, I wouldn't have been able to take care of him while trying to cope with all that happened."

The small woman nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"Just make sure he takes his medication every day, and a double dose if he has a migraine, and everything will be fine", she said at last, and although her voice was harsh as a bark, Noiz could feel the love she felt for her grandson.

He assured he would, and in the end Tae even hugged him after hugging Aoba. The two boys felt like if they had lifted a weight off.

However, some weeks later, when Noiz was paying a visit at his favourite coffee shop, he crossed two familiar faces that were leaving at that very moment. Annoyed, he asked Aoba about them.

"Virus and Trip?" Aoba asked, puzzled. "They say we have been friends for some years now, and they even knew about my amnesia. What happens? Why is it that you dislike them?"

"Well… They are exactly the kind of people your grandma wanted you to stay away from… They used to give you drugs for free after every Rhyme match. They said they were your number one fans."

Aoba frowned and tapped his fingers on the counter.

"Then I have nothing to fear, as I don't play Rhyme any more or take drugs. I am of little interest for them now."

Noiz nodded, not very reassured.

"Noiz? Is there something else you are not telling me? Did something else happen with those two?"

Noiz sighed.

"Nothing that I know for sure. But there's something about these two freaks that I can't pinpoint exactly, and it's driving me nuts."

"Don't sweat it, Noiz…" Aoba said with a warm smile. "I'll try to avoid them in the future, so just forget it, okay?"

Noiz nodded again and thanked his boyfriend for the latte. He didn't think it would be something easy to forget, though, not when those creeps knew even where Aoba worked.

So that evening he searched for them actively in the Rhyme playgrounds. They weren't usually very far from the game, although he had never seen them playing. They surely had a job similar to his, something to do with bets. But it rubbed him the wrong way the fact that the only data everyone had about them were their Rhyme names, Virus and Trip. They were easy to spot, both of them blonde with light blue eyes, similar haircuts and similar clothes. If they weren't of a different size and age they could pass as twins: Virus was older, about twenty-four, with glasses, and shorter and skinnier than Trip, who was perhaps a year older than Aoba, but taller and more muscular. They watched him come closer with a crooked grin.

"Ah, Noiz-san, good evening!" Virus greeted him. Noiz had noticed that he was always the one talking first. So obviously the leader of the two. "How is Aoba-san? I hope you are taking good care of him."

Noiz didn't move a muscle or blinked. He kept staring at Virus until he finally asked, with his calmer voice.

"Explain me what did you do to him."

Trip smirked, but Noiz didn't even look at him, his gaze focused on Virus.

"If I said I don't know what are you talking about, you wouldn't believe a word, isn't it?" the guy in the glasses said.

Stubborn, Noiz kept staring. He wasn't going to move until he got an answer. After a long silence, Virus let his grin fall and said to Trip:

"Your turn", and he turned away.

The next thing Noiz noticed was a fist against his temple, that made his vision go double and blurry for some seconds. He shook his head, and when he thought he was alright again the second blow came, this time again his stomach, making him lean forward. He ducked the expected knee against his face; he might be a little injured, but he still could dodge classic attacks. He considered taking out his allmates and throwing them against the bigger boy, but the blows were half-hearted and sparse, so he opted by standing his ground and waiting until the attack ended. After a couple of blows more, Virus sighed and ordered:

"Enough, leave him and let's get out".

And he started to walk away without waiting for his colleague.

Noiz grabbed Trip's forearm before he could walk more than two steps.

"Wait! I won't tell the police or anything, but I need to know."

The older boy frowned and shook him off, and for a moment Noiz thought he was going to hit him again.

"You know something that I don't", he insisted.

Trip sighed, annoyed, and Virus called him from the other side of the street, impatient. The tall boy leaned forward for a moment and whispered to Noiz:

"Right now, everybody knows something that you don't. But you got to have Aoba, so stop complaining."

And he finally turned and started walking with fast strides until he met his friend. Noiz considered those words, feeling his blood running cold inside his veins.

When he arrived home, Aoba was still awake, reading something on his coil in bed. His allmate was still active, acting very much as the dog it resembled, and wagged its tail at seeing Noiz. Noiz patted it and the dog made itself comfortable again at Aoba's feet on the bed. He took his clothes off and changed into his pyjamas, and climbed into bed, curling beside his boyfriend.

"Aoba."

"Hmmm?" Aoba raised his eyes from the screen and looked at him with a smile, still distracted, expecting perhaps a kiss.

"How would you feel about a change of scenery?"

"What?"

Now he had all his attention, the coil forgotten onto the duvet.

"I was thinking about going back to Germany when the school year finishes, next month. And I think you would like my hometown; it's very different from Midorijima. You have never gone out from this island, have you?"

Aoba looked startled.

"You… want to go back there? With me? But Noiz, I thought you hated Germany."

"I hated it with my family. But I've got some savings, so we could rent an apartment and live together, not with my parents. I really would like to make new memories of the country, with you."

Aoba seemed uncertain and a bit confused.

"I… I don't know, Noiz. If you want to come back, it's your decision; I won't get in your way."

Noiz grabbed his hands.

"I'm not going back without you. If you prefer to stay, then we stay. I just thought… it would be a good opportunity for you, too. You know, starting again in a new country."

"But Noiz! I… I have a job here!"

"You can find that kind of jobs in Germany, too."

"And I can't speak German!"

"I will teach you, I swear; and I will be by your side to help you all the time until I start school in September."

"But…" Aoba bit his lower lip, thinking hard. At last he couldn't come with more objections and just laughed. "Why, all of a sudden?"

Noiz wouldn't tell him the reason, that's for sure. He just shrugged and smiled.

"I have been thinking about it for some time, in fact. What do you say? Let's give it a try?"

"If I can't adapt to Germany, could we come back when you finish the next school year?"

"Of course".

And when Aoba leaned in for a kiss, his hazel eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. He made himself comfortable on Noiz' chest and they started to plan their new life. Noiz thanked god silently for the small mercy of having convinced Aoba so easily. If putting his boyfriend out of danger meant taking a flight to Germany and dealing with his parents, then so be it.

* * *

And this is it! If someone is still unaware of Virus and Trip's role in Aoba's memory loss, please refer to the visual novel, or to my Masters of Memory fic :P

I'm considering writing a follow-up of the boys in Germany, and the more than possible come back of Sly into their lives. What do you think?

It would be after I finish the noiao zombie AU and another fic I have ongoing, of course, so perhaps in a month.

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed reading this story almost as much as I have enjoyed writing it!


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